Wednesday, May 19, 2010

151.

Apples, apples, APPLES and more ApPleS! I did it I got out of that stupid dang 152 stalling. When I did an apple day the last time on my first round I was never hungry and I only ate 5 of the allotted 6 apples that Dr. Simeons states can be used to make a stall breaker. This time I was hungry around 3pm and had to have an apple with me at all times. I even hurried to get the kids to go to bed so I didn't crash and burn the apple day. Why do we live in fear that something that has worked won't work the next time around? I really have got to use my faith on this lifestyle change I am making. My kids were shocked when they looked at the bag of apples I had only bought two days ago. It's always their back up snack and now it was almost gone Wow. But it WORKED and I only ate the 6 allowed!
My c-section area is starting to look flat I never thought that would happen. Anyone who opts for a c-section is nuts, natural birth is so dang much easier to recover from, anyway that's what I think having done it 6 times before the last nightmare birth.
Lunch: Turkey burger on wasa bun with the last of the Fennel bulb and grapefruit salad.
Dinner: Crab mixed with celery sauted on a wasa cracker, 5 strawberries with stevia
Miles: 2 around the valley it's finally WARM outside again.

Ok, I think I have been scared and that's partly why I couldn't get out of the 152's. Why? well My little Guy J is supposed to have this surgery that got cancelled because he was still on an antibiotic for a sinus infection. It's pretty simple just a sedated echo cardio gram, teeth cleaning of two little teeth that are disintegrating and that's easy. The big part, cosmetic closure of the trachea opening from where a tracheotomy was removed and left a hole like a belly button, but in your neck area after he was born. The scary part, they would be putting him back on a ventilator the thing that we couldn't get him off of the first time they had to do that to save his little lungs and then kept us in a NICU for 7 1/2 months. Me having to live 2 1/2 hours away from home and all my other children and hubby. On May 13th the day before the scheduled surgery I lost to 153 and didn't feel like it was honest. I have been a mess leading up to that day. Running like I could be crazy and cheating like the running would get me back to the right level and frustrated because I lost so much more on my first round by this time. The cheating wasn't huge just a nibble here of extra protein and some almonds ok lots of almonds and anytime my little guy wouldn't eat the tiny little peanut butter sandwich 1/4 amount I would eat it. All of a sudden today I am like back on top having gotten to a new scale spot and having not cheated once since Sat the day after the surgery should have taken place. Today I called to remake the surgery appointments and it was after that I realized I have been stalling in that area to for two days, well three if you count I could have called on the day it should have happened and started the whole process over. It was a Friday I kept telling myself they won't be in, ( let me tell you it is a process to get 3 Doc's on the same day at the same time frame) Anyway as I looked at the whole last month leading up to the 14th I had an awakening of my fear and this will no longer affect my weight at least I hope. Wheew that felt good to get that all off my chest I am not sure why.

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