138.6 Cow Bunga

I think we finally get to say that we, and yes I mean we today are hitting near the goal.

C boy's scale reading was 101.6 at 5 AM now if it will stay near there by the time practise comes after school. He is filled with healthy eating, hard core wrestling in the evenings, fast paced quick 30 min run every morning wearing a black plastic bag and tomorrow evening I can say he has hit it right on the nose with room to spare because they have bumped up the weigh in day to Thursday evening.

He is drinking the amount his body needs and he has had a complete protein every single meal combined with a veggie and a fruit.

Now I need to visit the store to replenish my pre frozen chicken cuts and get apples and oranges he has eaten them all.

I had a 3 mile run, barefoot, too lazy to put my shoes on today, might pay for it later. I am getting a bit faster in my pace but only a bit. Strength training after with Pilate's done by Denise Austin my gut is going to hurt I only did 30 min of it.

French toast for breakfast.

Lunch was stuffed 2 green peppers that had hamburger and rice and the Stouffer label said corn syrup like every other ingredient it seemed. It is an experiment to see if I gain from eating that kind of food.

Dinner: Hamburger with tomatoes on a wasa cracker bun, broccoli with ranch dip and about 6 no bake cookies that have chocolate, peanut butter, oatmeal and sugar in them. Two chicken nuggets that Jer fed me, and a big lick of chocolate peanut butter spread while making Jer a sandwich hopefully he eats it and not me.

Lots of water from my container with grape Stevia and maybe more then my two liters because I ran today and drank out of the tap instead of my container while working out.

Wonder what the scale will do in the morning. I felt ubber full today.

139.6 WHAT THE!!!!!!!!!

So the beef had to be over the allotted amount because why did the scale go back up that much. Or maybe the vinaigrette which is really not on the protocol list tipped the scale up. Or could it be that I totally forgot to drink my 2 liters of water yesterday. Whatever it is the scale went massively back up and I sure don't get what happened.

My phone has been being stupid for the last month. It will text but not call and it shuts itself off all the time. I went to go get a new phone and found that ATT was buying out Alltell so they were wanting me to wait to replace because the systems on the phone are used differently. Great so now no one can call me and my kids can text but I only get it if I turn the phone on over and over again. Its quiet exhausting, so last evening I bent over to unplug a toilet that had the yucky of yuckiest in it. The boys had not hit the flusher in the betweens of two users. My phone flipped in that yucky water. I screeched grabbed then washed it off and stood there looking at it. C boy says put it in rice over night and it should fix it. Well it did fix enough to be usable for my schedule and Dr. numbers but alas the software is still stupid and turns off constantly. I can't wait to get a new phone this one is driving me crazy.

Breakfast: For sure going to start drinking my 2 liters of water and of course take my 10 drops of HHCG.

Lunch: 10 drops of HHCG 30 min before eating. Then hamburger (which I think is not 100 grams or 3.5 0z because it just seems bigger, problem is it is frozen so I can't reweigh it. Remember I take all my meats and divide the amounts out and then wrapped them in tinfoil and freeze them so that I don't have to think so hard about everything when it comes time to cook.

Dinner: HHCG 10 Drops taken before I start to do the cooking. Precooked frozen grilled chicken of 3.5 oz. dropped into cabbage with a bit of salt garlic salt and onion salt. After it was cooked I broke it up. I also broke 4 melba rounds into the soup. I made a strawberry smoothie with 2 tablespoons of milk and a cup and half of water and the frozen strawberry handful of course. Add 3 packets of stevia and yum yum.

Tomorrow if there is not a significant drop then I know that my beef is above the allotted amount because I should be dropping more then this. Or maybe I should just avoid the beef all together. Fish and chicken seem to work better to help me drop weight faster anyway.

The whole family went bowling, what a blast, slightly humbling to keep being beat by your 7 year old. Z boy thought he was the cats meow, and mouthy C boy sure got put in his place because the Z boy won both times we played. Both times I won over C boy but only by one point some of us just couldn't get the ball straight.

141.0 Driving to see Jers growth Doctor.

I ate Popcorn with caramel on it because Jer wanted it and I couldn't resist the stuff taunting me.
I ate almonds because the drive made me a nervous wreck and I had to hurry three hours there and back better then biting my lip to a bloody pulp.
I ate a beef hot dog wrapped in a pretzel that Jer wanted and then only ate a few bites off the top.
I ate my lunch of salad with tuna on it because I didn't have anything else that could travel with me and was cooked up. I ate wasa cracker with it.
I ate lots of the raw almonds again. Trying to keep myself from being nervous as the traffic squeezed in to me on the way home. I made it back in time with seconds to spare to my newly required CPR class so that I can continue being a sub aide on the bus. Hopefully this will turn into permanent aide soon.
I ate my one apple and then nothing else because I cheated enough and went outside of protocol and ate because I couldn't waste the stupid beef hot dog. So glad I am home safe tomorrow with my stove near at home and maybe my metabolism has kicked into gear and I won't suffer since you know that's all fiber type foods well not the hot dog but oh well that's what happens when you have to go see a Dr. for you little guy and get home on a time limit.
By the way the amount of Medicine they can give has been reached the top in what his body can handle at the moment. His growth is slow but it has been happening, now if we could just get him to allow himself to consume the calories that he needs outside of his list of will and will not eat.

148.8 Eats

My C boy came home from scout camp and taught all my other younger boys how to eat

ANT BUTTS

yep that's what I said. They tell me they are full of protein, help keep you full and taste like lemon pepper. The up side you have lots of energy from them and you do not go to sleep very easy after making them your evening meal. Thanks to a cousin who was a counselor at the camp they will now survive if lost in the wilderness.

BUT

Mom has new ruling no eating ANT BUTTS in the evening on a school night.

Breakfast protein shake with cream cheese, milk, strawberries and stevia for sweetness.

Lunch.

Gearing to go see Jer's lung Dr. maybe we can get rid of some medicine or maybe he can sleep without oxygen at night here's hoping.

148.6 Green salad and being happy.

So today was one of those day's where the kids ate the cracked wheat cereal for breakfast without a single complaint because after a year I have now changed them into real breakfast eaters instead of cold bag cereal eaters. There was fruit to go on top and they all loved it.

The little guy who still won't eat much that appears mushy has now tried some dried fruit in the shape of a licorice made by Cliff Hangers and he liked it. It was not blueberries and he did yell about it not being for a second but then went ahead and tasted it while eating most of it. The cherries were tart in it but it was fruit in a real form not a corn syrup mix with coloring. That is a huge plus.

I am craving Chocolate, what the heck it must be nearing and rearing it's visiting head soon.

Two days left to starting school Yahweh I am really glad as they are very bored in this house.

Very little exercises has happened except for rapid walking and bending making beds. I sure hope that counts for something.

149.8 I survived to a point.

So I am back and alive but the scales suffered or maybe I should be honest and say I suffered upon standing on the scales daily and I am so glad last week is over.

Scale readings:

Tuesday 146.2

Wednesday 146.2

Thursday 149.0

Friday 148.6

Saturday I totally forgot because I left at 6:00 am my usual weigh in time.

Sunday 150.6

Bottom Line Food at a County Fair is so not good for you. Not drinking enough water while standing in the hot sun day after day is not good for you. Getting sick and feeling like crap from dust and smoke is so not good for you. I crave healthy food choices from my garden and fridge like crazy.

I tried to eat protein selections but all that is is hamburgers with no veggies and bread buns on both sides when at a county fair. Finally I yielded to chips and cheese and fajitas with lots of their sugar sauces, Italian ice, potato salad samples, peanut butter sandwiches, ice cream at the livestock family partie, soda pop to try and quench thirst, breaded chicken chunks. Super healthy eating is rough when your on the go that many days. Sat we finally were able to get grapes and cheese sticks with yogurt cups that felt sorta healthy. On Sunday all I felt like eating was Cherri bell tomatoes and some protein drink.

There is a forest fire in the county behind us so the smoke on Thur. got to being really blown over us as we sat watching the Rodeo that my pretty girl rode in. By the end we went home smelling like a camp fire and pretty much that hasn't really stopped since. I must be allergic to something that is burning because I got super sick to the point of getting antihistamines to help get through the itch eyes and inflamed lungs and nose drips. Jer just had to have an oxygen increase and my Z guy looks like he has permanently sunburned eyes and cheeks he is allergic like me to whatever is burning in those mountains.

On the positive side Pretty girl has enough points to ride and represent our 4-H horse division at they State 4-H show, she sold both her sheep and got blue ribbons, Son in far away land got a blue and red ribbon on his photo entries that we entered for him and Mc managed to get a blue ribbon on a horse that is so claustrophobic that maybe she shouldn't be put inside of a stall at the county fair. She was a psychological mess and could hardly stand to be away from Pretty girls horse Hobbles so he had to force her to do any of the 4-H advents and it took alot of skill on his part, he is getting to be a very good horseman.

147.4 Nasogastric Tube Feeding

This shows the pic trauma about to be discussed.
What is it like to have to shove a tiny tube down a itty bitty nose and feel when it hits the end of the nasal cavity and turn to make its descent? All the while you are holding the flailing hands and watching the fear in the eyes. Desperation setting in on both parties to get it out or get it in whatever it's going to take. Then what about when you have to pull it because no matter what you do it's plugged with medicine, usually at two in the morning feeding hour to top it all off. You have cranberry juiced it and water pushed it and that was even warm water and it's just not going to give. What about having to place a stethoscope on the tiny tummy and fearing that you will not hear tummy sounds when you pull back on the syringe that is at the outside end of the tube, but maybe a lung sound, thank goodness that never happed to me. Shall we say FRUSTRATION daily more than once a day sometimes.

Then there is the puking that happens. Because the natural response is to reject foreign matter and it's so a foreign. I finally couldn't take it, we had taught him how to eat, he smeared it all over his face, it got into his mouth, and I could spoon some into his mouth but the tube would often cause havoc because he has texture issues and now days since the trach revision surgery we realize that scar tissue was causing some tightness that caused major smallness for the food to go down with a tube taking all the extra space. Need I say then causing major puking. Jer had been home about 6 months we were doing the daily above described struggle with every meal almost. He was a year old and as round as a baby could be when he puked yet again and I left it OUT. Eating became a bit easier or maybe a little less stressful minus the addition of shoving an NG tube back into his tiny nose after every feeding just because he puked it at some point during the feeding. Even the pretty girl knew how to get it in but the boys including the Nurse Dad refused to help put it in, they would only help hold the flailing hands.

This shows all the different ones they had used on him through the year, yes we had to use every one of them but the Gtube along with all the psychology and the reasons as to why feeding must be done this way. They did want us to have a Gtube but we said no give us time to teach and him to learn.

Kids go through spurts of great eating and then the I don't like that phase when they used to eat it every single meal. I hope that as he gets older he goes back to that normalized smeared all over his face baby eating that we taught him and he gets willing to eat more then just all white foods and dry crusty food. He seriously has oral and sight aversion to KY jelly or anything slimy like it, but I must say thank goodness he will eat something these days. Little does he know how many veggies and slimy fruit is blended and hidden in his pedisure at night these days.

Eating is a continual chore trying to see what he wants to eat for the day telling the youngest of my two boys that they can't have when he can have whatever it is now matter how unhealthy it looks simply because any calorie is better than no calorie at all. And the volume of get hungry medicine or reflux medicine or laxative medicine bugs the heck out of me but it's our normal at least for him.

The surgery.

LONGEST DAY ON EARTH!!!!!!!! So all went well even if we had to keep Jer from eating or drinking which the eating wasn't hard but drinking on the other hand not so easy. It started when we woke him to get in the car which wasn't early. Last meal was at 1:00 am pediasure in a bottle. So we left him to sleep and sleep until 10:00 am. Which amazingly he did. But this morning he wants food so we are driving in car listening to begging for a drink or alternating for food for at least an hour. Finally he fell asleep. We arrive, water fountains the decorative kind are outside the hospital, he wants to drink the water out of them. Drinking faucet passed in hall he trys to crawl out of arms to get. Registering, he says he has to go potty, no go, but he tries to get to tap to get drink. He pouts while playing with toys.

He sees backpack and knows that I always carry water or pediasure. I have to put it up high and try again to divert his attention playing. Finally we get into the change room and dang there is another sink and Daddy (who thanks goodness got to come with me) does diverting while I sign more papers.

Anther toy waiting room, potty guise again. Fight that he needs water out of tap. This is getting so so so hard to keep him from crying and fighting to get the water. On any other day he could go forever without water but of course not today. I never thought I would be in the mode to say thank goodness he got into the surgery because he was so set on getting any possible water that he could. After two hours they call and they need me to hold the screaming baby who came up out of the anaesthesia wanting you guessed it WATER.

I do not think I have ever seen him drink it that fast. Everyone was scared he would puke after guzzling it that fast, but no he begged for more. And can you believe this the non eating guy downed a bowl of soft rice and butter. A cup worth it, was so fast we had to slow him on his intake followed by vanilla yogurt the whole entire cup, add 4 little hospital size apple juices and at 12 midnight he was like a pack rat holding on to the other yogurt cup insisting that he was going to eat it even though he was so so asleep. Maybe the trick is to starve him more often hmmm lets see how the morning pans out in the eating category, breakfast is not ever a favorite meal on his part.

It was a good thing that they revised his trach hole because they found that scar tissue was holding to the inside of his vocal cords and that got released so now maybe we will have stopped the possible throwing up that has plagued him at times. Only time will tell if that becomes the needed fix.

He has the cutest little white teeth now and the one that was curved because the ventilator tubing rested on the bud area and molded it's growth roots area and made the tooth formed in a upwards curve at the bottom of the tooth is all straight now. All the brown yucky spots are gone. Supposedly, which is not confirmed the Echo reviled no pulmonary hypertension but that is very unofficial as of right now.

Did he eat all that food that he is so nicely buttering NOPE not a thing. He did drink the apple juice and late that night a vanilla pediasure. Hey the nurse said "do I sense a white theme going on with the food category". White rice, white yogurt, he likes white pancakes usually, white bananas once in a while, white pediasure, white milk, white cheese sticks, chicken nuggets that have white insides, white insides on apples, I think I am going to have to pay attention to all this colorless foods he will try.

146.6 Picky baby eats probars.

PROBAR

One day while watching a show called Good Things Utah I hear about a guy and his bar. Now the way I watch TV is sporadic and usually I am only half with what is being said half way. The only thing I caught was it was good, runners liked it and the creators name was strange with an"Egger something?" I watched to see what the clip was about but the commercials were so long that I got doing something else. Then right when it comes on one of my boys decides it's time to yell and have a fit so I can only catch something about organic. I felt irritated because I knew it was created in my state of Utah.

About a month later standing in the health food store I realize that this is that same guys bar so I get the Coco Pistachio for a fast breakfast since I left really early and hadn't gotten to eat. Talk about yummy that was the best, but the ultimate to me is the fact that after talking my very non eating child who has oral and texture aversion in to not just tasting, he liked it, and kept eating it. SCORE now that's a great bar because he is the kind of kid that will pass up candy when other kids would drowned in the candy.

So now I better let him try some more to see if I can get something that's good into his little body.

Miles 3. 57 run well maybe I better say jog slooooooow, someday I might get faster.

Crazy run for the morning, then church and then family barbecue. I got to hold the most yummy set of 1 month old twins ever and they are my niece and nephew. I ate my own homemade hummus again and salsa with corn chips, a hamburger because hubby didn't bring the steaks. A bit of bean chicken stew, olives, eggs deviled, watermelon, grapes and the most yummy avocado corn salsa ever. I got full fast oh and a bit of choco cake but I really didn't like it that much. If I am off the scale tomorrow I guess there may be no hope for getting a set weight this round for me. And most important on a steaming hot day Lemon Stevia 3 liters of water. I actually drank more it was so hot today.

March 8, 2010 168.4 Wii BMI 28.76, 168.0 New scales

So finally a move on down and still mad at the Wii for saying obese, but hey I am still doing more then others do. So I love that its moving down but because of where I store the fats on my hips I can not get my smaller pants on yet, but soon soon I will.

Lunch Cabbage sirloin soup with Orange and put some of the juice in to spice it up and grissini sticks. Nice and warm tummy liquid. I went for a walk in the sprinkle rain and breathed in fresh air.

I am human, I got caught without my dinner plan in hand and had to take my kids to a reading party night and thus got caught because they served pizza. I held out from 5 till 7 p.m. until I could see that I was not getting home to get my usual 5:30 meal and I failed myself. The pizza won out of my need for some kind of food. There was salad but it wasn't holding me at all. Well needless to say I will pay most likely in the morning. I am drinking the Dieters tea and walked on the treadmill making sure I burned at least 200 calories and hopefully I won't have to pay to badly for being so unprepared. Wouldn't it be nice if our bodies didn't need any sustance when we are caught in the wrong time frame.

March 4, 2010 170.9 Wii BMI 29.09 170.8 new scales

So strange now both my scales are reading almost the exact same Maybe my Wii is really really pushed around to much. My new scale hasn't been moved since the day I first used it. I think that's the most correct to. So this weight is what I sat at after delivering my last baby and held for about a year and a half based on what my records say on the Wii plus having my hospital leaving weight kept in my mind too. I wonder what will happen will I stall out here or sail through.

Lunch Shrimp 2 small tomatoes, orange and grissini. 284 total calories

Dinner Hamburger taco wrapped in lettuce and apple, grissini, that makes a total of 555 calories for the day. HMMMM I really need to watch a bit closer and remember that hamburger and shrimp are not to be eaten together.