ONE YEAR AGO I STARTED THIS HCG

This was about the only photo I could find of myself before using the HCG diet. It was the summer of 2009 before doing my HCG diet and getting my gut tight again. Notice my lovely fat face which is very thin now.

2011 right after the Bantam wrestling turnament one year after my HCG diet rounds.

Back in the blue suit that hides not a single ripple or roll of fat from the eye to see, these are much smoother ripples compared to the past year of before my HCG and 5K and 10K runs.

I can't believe it its been one whole year of incredible learning. More then just how to do Dr. Simeons protocol. I have learned what makes me gain what helps me lose, whats my limits in physical strength, how to push myself more or give myself a break. Learning to reward myself without food as the prize at the end. Now don't get me wrong here I still have to pay close attention to this, be consistently monitoring myself, I am not perfect here yet.

Let me just tell you it feels pretty dang good to sit at the Little boys Bantam wrestling in dang tight skinny jeans with a sparkly belt and feel like a million bucks compared to last year were I felt old, fat, ugly, had stupid fat pants that I hated and feeling like I was never going to be pretty again. And I did hide my face from all kinds of photos back then. I felt Like I was the mother of a bunch of boys and out for my league with all these young moms that brought their little guys to wrestle and they were all dolled up wearing super high heels and looking as young as my daughter. My thought was just get me out of here I am too old to be here looking like this. Yes I started my first HCG day on the Bantam wrestling day on year ago and we just finished the bantam wrestles over the weekend. All of my little boys ended up with first and second medals including Jer who was given a medal from the coach as a prize even though he didn't wrestle, he is a bit to little still to do the sport.

So today one before snap shot and one of my new me in my cute little skinny jeans along with the fact that I am 44 years old and HOT looking instead of the mother of 7 children. Thanks HCG and all the other blogs and Friends along the way with many an alternate path that taught me how to or not to get back the me that got buried over the last 12 years of my life. There were plenty of blogs that I read, many personal stories and struggles that helped my resolve. Close family that gave me reasons to keep on trying to reach my goal.

But the most important was my own resolve and WILLPOWER to gain the upper hand something that I will keep continuing on with everyday for the rest of my life from now on.

I better put a shout out to a girl who is working to loose, a fellow wrestler Mom. YOU CAN DO THIS and its so worth the change too. I think you know who you are.

Doing this diet taught me a few of these things belive me there are more but to many to list:

Portion control

Eating when I am really hungry not just because its there to eat.

Calorie combinations that are low.

How to drink enough water for my body.

Paying attention to what is in stuff, (like the hidden names of many sugars).

How to like warm hearbal tea to keep me warm, hated tea at the begining now its not so bad.

That corn chips are evil in many ways, two chips a calorie amount a must stay away from.

That there is a sweetness that is unbelivable in green leaves and celery if you havent eaten sugar for a long time.

What a healthy portion size is, which is about the size of your fist for proteins.

Most of all that I am always going to pay attention to the amounts that I eat when I eat and what it is that I eat so that I keep this skinny look around for a long long time!

Advice and Wow survived the week. 140 LBS today.

Click to see this one amazing blood pressure chart.


If you do the HCG way to lose make sure your committed to change forever. Well that's really how it is with anything that isn't part of your normal life style.

I do not agree with the statements that I often hear that go something like this.

"When I am done with my HCG rounds and I can eat whatever I want".

NO there will never be a day that you can eat whatever you want again!

Unless you don't want to keep the change that you just made doing the HCG round or whatever lifestyle change that you just quit following to go back to the past.

You will always, must always be aware and accountable for what goes into that mouth. You must always weigh whether its a good choice or a bad choice to make. Do you want that tiny second of sweet taste or the skinny jean look for a long time. Not paying attention can catch up on you so make sure your always watching your game plan and even reviewing the past plan that helped you to lose whatever plan that was.

Today I can wear my skinny jeans but I am 5 pounds up compared to Oct 2010. Even my fat percentage ratio BMI is up compared to October 2010 date measurement. Do I feel differently? Well not really, some days I can do a few more crunches and feel a bit tighter then the day before. There was this euphoric feeling that was around me when I first lost all the weight like that I was lighter and didn't take up as much space as in my past. Now my body has a more normal feeling like that its just how I am not more nor less just am. Some days I crave that light lose feeling that came as I lost but then I get reminded by someone usually the Hubby that I am so skinny compared to the past years of my life and I am still in a really good place.

So am I still wanting to be losing, well I have decided to do a reshaping round soon when all this crazy wrestling is over and I get to just stay home every evening and weekend. Is it my goal to lose more well only if my body wants to mostly I want a lower fat percentage reading because then that means my heart is really healthy and the body will follow that too.

Every day now I am working to tone and strengthen all my muscles, You know really they have to be toned daily to stay up to par and not get all saggy. The thing that is really good to learn before you ever start any kind of life style change is that you must be willing psychologically to really change all the eating around you along with willing to drag the family along also. What you the Mom create in the kitchen makes kids go into upheaval if you change the way you eat all of a sudden, instead of gradual small instigators over time. My boys like to have treat parties at our house that can just about kill me on the scale if I didn't keep up with lots of personal busy activity now that I have lost weight. You can't deprive kids of treats if that's what the comfort is to them so make sure your changes are small and gradual a plan that you can keep healthy around you always as you lose, strengthen, work out, or maintain what you have gained along this road of change that you make. Good advice for myself to take that's who this pep talk is really for anyway just glad if it helps you out their that might want a reminder along your path in life.

My Week last week:
Sick Hubby Mon, and Tue light at the end of tunnel on Wed.
Sick kids, all week just pick a turn take a turn. Sick Jer, means lots of steroid loaded breathing treatments and shaker machine to loosen that crap out of his lungs. I hate breathing that nasty stuff and its close to my face at times.
Mc broke submarine car real good trying to do the daily feeding animal chores ( saddest sobbing sounding boy ever, called me while finishing my bus riding job)
Had to buy new natural gas economical car, yippee it will only cost me 10.00$ to drive to far away Doctors now.
C boy broke his hand Tue, night. Xrays, all day at Doc's felt like, left one sick boy at Aunts house.
Made dash to see orthopedic hand doc to get special cast so C boy can still wrestle at State competitions. Had to drive 2.5 hours to get into Doc then the same miles back without the C boy who was now getting ready to do the tournament.
Friday, got Mc boy ready who went on winter scout camping called Klondike for first time, gotta make sure he wont freeze to death.
Left other recovering sick kids with Jo pretty girl, thank goodness she is a helper like no other.
Went to watch C boy take 4th in state in the 103 bracket as a freshman, the only one to reach that level that young too, with broken right hand AWESOME beyond belief ( he is not please because of course he wants the top spot but when you break your hand 3 days before its a bit handicapping).

Friday nice night alone with the Hubby, early Valentines Day, our own little party. Ate dinner at a Peruvian restaurant, tried an authentic drink, first carbonated drink in over a year and ate fried cream cheese wrapped in a shell that was kind of like a crepe or taco shell covered with carmel. So now I gotta get the muscles to burn that calorie load off like never before. Whew at least I survived last week. Before this dinner I stayed pretty close to a 500 cal diet except I ate larger protein portions, almonds, my mystery drink, and lots of good homegrown eggs that my boys take care of the Momma chickens. I even ate a few whole wheat sandwiches with peanut butter. I made me some dark chocolate crack and added nuts, dates, and berries to it to keep me accountable in the sweet category.

Progress and starting over some days.

I did another 10K all by myself felt so great the rest of the day. Tue ready to wake up with an owie hip and there was not a single sign of it Yippy that is just too cool.

Dinner was Sweet potatoes fries with too much pepper, chicken and salad and a bit of ranch dressing. The next day the scale was down go figure.

As I look back across the last year with my first date of using HCG coming closer I love being able to review that I can now run 6 miles. Yes that's what I just wrote, Monday I ran that many miles on my treadmill in 79 min. Back when I started this journey just trying to lose the pounds and then needing to tone all the flab all I could do was walk a mile. I told myself every day that I walked that this took forever then I'd groan. The message was I don't have this kind of time to spend here. But really what was more important then getting healthy so I could live longer and stay healthy and not cost my family lots of money in some horrible medical catastrophe.

Now with all that I have learned in being in control of the amount of foods the kinds the combinations and paying attention to what is in stuff that I don't make myself, I feel like I am getting on top of the game of losing and keeping the weight off.

My mental Model: I said this for years and now its almost here. "I will be a happy healthy 120 pounds". That looked like me wearing skinny jeans and feeling strong all over my body. The body follows the mind so a message that you tell yourself is so very body changing. I actually fit in those skinny jeans without the scale reading 120 right now today.

I decided to join Doctor Oz. 11 week move it to lose it and love the plan so that when I am eating whatever I want to eat not doing (HCG) I can also pay attention to how much I need to move to keep it all in check. Along with all the helps of great people that are at my finger tips to glean info from.

Well by the end of the week things were getting straggly. I had a cool late Christmas present of seeing a play in big city and a night out just me and the hubby. It was fun but eating out of the house can really throw your plans out the door sometimes. Also hotels believe in white flour waffles not whole grain kind to feed breakfast seekers.

Wrestling events have some of the worst concession stands filled with ubber junk foods, its a wonder that a boy could even eat healthy stuff at those tournaments. The C boy was at a huge competitions with 66 schools and 68 kids in his weight bracket we went to watch him at the Rocky Mountain Rumble Competition. He placed 7th which is really good for a freshman wrestler. He says "every match is an ability to learn something new to stretch your abilities into new possibilities". "Its actually better to learn while in a real match because both are straining so hard to get the upper move." The food choices were ugha and so I think in one weekend I have undone a healthy scale reading. But I did bring my Denise Austin abs DVD and did it right there in the hotel when I woke up Sat. morning. At least I kept moving.

Heres to keeping on with my maintenance and maybe figuring out what will keep me losing all the time.

134.2 C boy in repair from wrestling ouch.

Monday evening I took C boy to see the most cool lady. She works with fears that are manifest in our body. You see C boy is really going to be ok once he believes it and stops holding himself so tightly. He broke his ribs last year and has really been afraid to go all out in his technique on the mat. Everyone can see that the fire is not all there like it has been all of his life when it comes to giving it all out on the mat.

So now that C's shoulder has gotten hurt on the same side as the broken healed ribs he is not so ready to be ok even though nothing is torn or broke.

Fear can be so immobilizing, it can be stored so strongly in the body that some can never get past it and some bury the fear going forward but not living the completeness that they could have had.

Well this cool lady does a combination of EFT and Body Talk. When Jer was in the hospital she would do work for him and let me tell you when she called and told me things that were coming up she was always so right on. After my Pretty girl had an appendicitis she helped the fear to drain out of her and even opened the channels to be heard and have a voice. ( that one is tough now that she is a teen and is more outspoken). My faraway boy would always say how the heck does she always know what I am worrying over and I never even said anything to you about it.

Well this is the first time C boy has even had a need and this time helped him get past his rib and shoulder pain and fear along with helping him to resolve the intestinal plug up that seems to keep happening to him. He was so amazed that she knew that his intestine's struggle to transfer water around resulting in the problem that he seems to face.

He said the whole next day his whole body kept tingling when people came near him and he wrestled pretty much with no fear at practise. The shoulder is a tiny bit tight but quickly resolving the tightness. Thank goodness because he has a big charity pink wrestle that the schools are doing for Breast Cancer tonight.

The end result HE WON a pin in 30 seconds flat even with pink shoelaces on his black clad feet!

Here are a few links about pink awareness and other athletes that are bringing awareness.

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Me sticking tight to my 500 cal limits even though the Aunt came visiting and leaving me feeling like a soggy wet noodle with no strength to get up and do anything.

Lunch:Grapefruit, Chicken, Wasa cracker, and celery sticks they tasted so so sweet.

Dinner: Tomato salsa with some onions and cayenne pepper with the fish over the top and a few wasa crackers too.

137.2 Backward sliding!

Last night my son had a football dinner with all the parents and players. Yep you guessed it should have not even gone but what do you do not show support? Fall on your face because the eats grab you? Do you fall and get up again or lay there letting more get you down and never reach your goal? Well me I will do better tomarrow and stay away from eats of all forms except the ones I am allowed while on HHCG!

4 Liters of water with grape stevia and HHCG drops for breakfast.

3 mile walk on treadmil carring my 3 pound weights and moving my arms lots in many ways.

Lunch: Talopia, cucmbers with apple slices and soem waldon farms raspberry vinagrette and melba rounds of course.

Dinner: On the race out the door to wrestling matches. Chicken and a tomatoe with a melba round. Eating the apple in the car as we hurry over the mountain top to see what happens on the mat with two Jr. High wrestling boys that live at this house.

140.2 Body Image!!!!!

That's what you get when you mess with HHCG and eat out of the 500 cal. diet order but its ok I will be ok.

2 mile run this morning, yes finally a minute of time for me.

Lunch: Fish with a tomato and an orange and 4 melba rounds. Lemon twist stevia in 2 liters of water. And of course the 10 HHCG drops under my tongue.

Dinner: grilled chicken with curry powder on it. Celery sticks and a wasa cracker. One rather large apple of a sour crisp variety, kept me having pucker thrills in my mouth. 10drops of HHCG and some fizzy vitamin D to. I have been taking this for about a week and I can really tell a difference.

Body image? What do you think about it?

The Hubby and I had a talk as we drove home from the Doc yesterday and this came up. My budding teens made me feel ugly as a mud fence, know this I was always as skinny as a rail then, so it had nothing to do with being fat just not pretty in the face is what I mean. Some but not many boys paid attention to me during those years. Then as I turned 18 into my 20's I was hot, I think I started realizing this when many boys paid attention to me but I still didn't keep much of a belief that I looked very hot. I still had this image that only certain guys liked certain kinds of looks. My Hubby of course went crazy over me, I had moved to this new town and met him. All of a sudden many guys were asking me out, he got all crazy possessive and didn't think it was funny to have other guys ask me out. So he remedied the problem and made me his forever. Well then there is the syndrome that some women suck into; I have my guy so I do not need to try so hard right, well I never really participated in it but I do recall after every pregnancy trying to get back that youthful skinny and a certain glint from a passing guys eye that would say yes I had it back or no I did not have it yet. Of course the Hubby still loved me no matter what.

Now today I told him that I had dressed to look very hot but not because I wanted anyone else to take a look, only because I wanted him to look and I almost couldn't pull the look off because of my scared feeling about others out there in the world maybe looking. Now this has only become a problem because I have finally lost back to a nice sized pants and skinny look but I still hide behind his protections and the fact that I do not have to attract anyone else. Whew thank goodness I do not have to be back in the dating space I am not sure I would do so well. I really have a hard time with the attention that comes now and I realize that many girls in this world that cover themselves with a layer of fat to protect themselves from attention must feel kind of like me today. I am glad this is not always how I feel because it sure could be disabling if a person let it be in their life.

I talked about how I really would rather not have any attention from others, especially guys and yet a person really has no control over that.

The hubby said he liked that I was trying to be healthier and active again and it's nice that the body is in better shape, back to what attracted him in the first place. He desired that I should keep dressing hot even if others paid attention because it would help me to keep feeling like staying in the healthy mode and that's the most important thing to him. He thinks that many guys were always attracted to me back before his day, but there is the phenomena that happens with a guy and they say "she is too pretty I do not have any kind of chance even getting a date with her so why try." So they don't even try and the girl may be left wondering what was wrong with her just because of what messages she is telling her own brain. Well my Hubby didn't care about that phenomena he was older and he knew what he wanted so he went for it. Besides we got set up on a blind date, I think that helps take away the messages that we tell ourselves that might be limiting when we first glance at a person and consider the potential asking out thought.

His goal is that we both get healthier and stay that way, besides we still have lots of kids that need to be raised. The most important to him is the healthy, looking good is a side benefit to boot. My benefit is he is loyal and keeps his manly attractions to others in check because bottom line our personal body image is all a part of what attracts or does not attract us to others.

So in conclusion I guess I just get to keep ignoring looks or statements and focus on being healthy because it is so very important.

Some links to lots of others comments on body image. Just click the linker number and read it.

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138.6 Vitamin D and losing.

I read an article kind like this about how this group was doing a study on losing weight and found that many people were also lacking vitamin D but when they increased the amount they were able to start loosing because the fats cells stoped keeping it locked in and unavailable to the system, interesting so of course the article led me to research and study this so now I am upping my vitamin D so this next round i do might be a bit easier to lose with.

Eats Messy when you start cooking for Thanksgiving Dinner or leave super early to get to a Dr. appointment and there is only a killer yummy bakery open when the hungry signal hits.

Egg croissant on the most divine croissant and a cinnamon roll with a blueberry almond milk smoothie.

Lunch Chicken rolled tiquitose and broccoli trees.

Dinner pumpkin cookies with lots of almonds two tastes of killer cranberries salsa ohhh its a good thing i get to eat whatever I want tomorrow.

Things I have noticed since doing this diet. When I was a kid and I awoke in the morning there was a hungry signal that my belly sent to the brain and i hear it. Then over the years it got mixed up and lost or maybe ignored with the activities that were around me. The signal just wasn't honer or listened to much and some days it even quit working. Now that my metabolism is speeded up a wee bit I get that message rather quickly in the morning. Now the test is to make sure that I give the message something so that I keep the metabolism moving, that's one key element I have noticed happening.

The second thing is that when i eat I am filled rather quickly and have lost that need to fill till i am so full I want to pop and can't move. I now don't like that feeling so much. Ya here comes one of those days when I have to load and feel almost sick inside.

The third thing comes under motility. If I eat over the amount my insides make somewhat of a protesting and work at top speed so that they are free of the cramped feeling that make the space feel squished. I am glad that the break down works better these days then it used to in my past.

139.2 The day after race ouch!

As the day neared the end yesterday I started to be really "ouch" in my hip on that left leg. I had done lots of stretching and kept wondering why its hurting this race and running agendas compared to back in June and July when I prepared for my first 5K race. I hadn't ached not one time back then so why now. The Hubby just always says something like you need to work it out more, no help there. Well I finally got a jet tub massage going on it. This has helped it quit hurting and being all tight and isn't feeling like it ran any miles at all on that hip for today at least. Hopefully the muscle will settled down in that area now and will stay settled down forever.
Today I rested with a bit of stretching tomorrow. I will hit it hard again bumping up the miles a bit.
The days eats have been crazy sugary such as chicken with sweet sour sauce and oreo cookies.
I had oatmeal with yogurt that had sugar in it. I did eat one healthy half of a cucumber. But then on to a brownie with marshmallows, jalapeno poppers and fruit. Oh ya pepper jack cheese and lots of my water too. This is definitely the dangerous season of foods maybe because our bodies crave the warmth that fats and carbs make under the layer of our skin in preparation for cold weather. Just a thought on why we eat what we do some days. Believe me my body would some days like that fat layer back to keep it warm, it is cold in my surrounding land now days. The only problem is my willpower will not allow that fat layer to come back, no never again can it come back like that.

140.0 Mmmm WHY??? Turkey run

Why? cause my body wants to be this weight on the scale I guess.

Today would be the first day of maintenance if deciding to keep going that way. I have decide it will be about three weeks of maintenance before I do another round. I am not pleased that there was a rise again after eating pretty moderate. I mean the Cream Cheese shakes with the strawberries was what I ate on my first P3 round. The salad was lots of greens but maybe it has to do with the dressing yep sugar in it. Later that evening I could have eaten less of my dinner, less salad, less steak, less dressing that most likely had lots of sugar in it. I don't know its sure has been much harder this time around to lose, make the body set and now who knows stay at the lower weight. I think I am going to do a Thanksgiving load and then a 20 day round to lose towards my goal. I sure hope I am able to get to my goal without having to do anymore rounds and then the goal would be to maintain that for a whole year without having to do anymore rounds. I must admit I have learned lots and lots about so very many things on this journey. I will continue to learn I am sure for the rest of my life how to manage this body and the quirks that come along with it. Here's to maintenance for the next few weeks and trying to stay at a low level on the scale.

Eats today:

Green salad with chicken cucumbers, sunflower seeds, feta cheese and Waldon's sugar free onion salad dressing.

An apple with some peanut butter.

2 liters of Stevia hazelnut water.

Dinner baked Salmon, Cheese chunk and more water.

Rode my bike for 40 min and hiked the side of our hill for .8 of a mile that's a total of 2.8 miles worth of exercises. My leg hurts on the left side most likely because for a bit of the walk I walked backwards up the hill. Why, I don't know just for the fun of it that's why.

I am excited for tomorrow ready to run with parts of my family in a 5K race to try and win our Turkey dinner.

137.4 HOOKABOO Dieting thoughts.

The sugar demons are getting closer and ready to eat your good diet success with sugar at every corner you turn. Stay strong my friends do not give in to the drowning that is impending and knocking at all our doors.
Eat a carrot instead its has sugar in it toooooo.

I am cross training today going to ride my pretty girls bike and see if I can work up a sweat in the frosty air that we have here this morning. (Oooh that kicked my butt I can really feel it in my back and top of thighs). 30 sit ups and 30 crunches both in the morning and evening at bed time.
Breakfast chocolate with cashews and a smoothie of yogurt strawberries and cream cheese.
Also laying the Garden to rest dang I am going to miss eating my own fresh cucks, spinach and salad selections. Wish I had a greenhouse that I could keep over the top and help the earth inside stay warmed.
Ate fried green tomatoes with onions and turkey burger saute ad together in coconut oil (cold expeller pressed) then placed over the top of fresh spinach leaves and Waldon's sweet onion dressing.
Later dinner I cheated with a hot dog smothered with chili and ate the bun too. Along with a killer cupcake with way to much gaggy frosting. I guess if the scale goes up I should not have done that but I am human with frailty's some days but it was a party and I didnt want to be rude.

As to the diet protocol. I am doing my own diet with out the help of a consulting Dr. I do faithfully read Dr. Simeon's protocol and I make sure I research all kinds of things so that I feel in my self secure with the choice I have made in losing the weight that I carry.
Do I think if I went on a 500 cal diet and no HCG that I would lose, NO. Maybe my good fat but not my locked fat storage. That's the fat that I want to have go away. So now that I understand some of the bodies chemical compositions and ways that it protects itself from being depleted along with the fact that there are several people I know who have lost when they were pregnant by shaving the diet down I still think I would and will do the HCG diet way. BUT I now love to run and like to feel the strain on my muscles and the firmness that even nasty crunches ans sit ups make me feel. So balance in all things is way way important.
Anyone reading this needs to know that they need to make sure they research everything out for themselves and not just on my words alone because I will not take any authority for what you choose to do because its your own path not mine.

I had the best day yet.

Just a note to say I did great and I have pin pointed an important thing that I have to do for me.

WORK OUT its just a must to keep me stress free and accountable.

Lunch: chicken lettuce, melba rounds and an orange.

Dinner: hamburger, tomato, wasa bun, and an apple

Scout award presentation tonight. My C boy got honored and the Mc boy learned how to salute the court they are such awesome young men can't wait till they are Eagles. Their whole troop won the over all big competition against the 5 years winners so amazing.

137.4 Eating raw

Part of the Dr. discussion yesterday was that he told me he never says to someone who wants to lose weight "if you want to lose weight go start exercising." Instead he says "cut what you eat down and make it raw." Why raw, well because your body has to work harder to burn the raw foods down so your bodies calorie burn is better. Now if you have say a child like Jer it is better to cook all his foods so that he gets a higher easily broken down calorie amount since he eats so little in the first place. If you want to be in better shape and have better muscle mass that's when you should exercises but it is not going to make you lose as much as if you cut your portions of eating down. So there is a bit of diet to this not just the HCG at work but that's ok because it has worked for me so I will keep on doing a round every once in a while if its necessary to stay down on the scale and the inches.

This morning weight is now back to what it was a few days ago. THANK GOODNESS I was getting worried. I do not know why I worried because I put pants on this morning that I wore back 12 years ago. I had kept them saying I lost somehow once I can do it again. They were some brand new ones that I had gotten and then ended up pregnant with my 4th child. That was the year I had returned to my 110 pound weight for the first time in 10 years since getting married and having my very first pregnancy. Wow a person who has had 7 children and 10 pregnancies really truly ca get small again. I am living proof of that possibility.

SO ALL of YOU IF I CAN YOU CAN. JUST DO IT.

Breakfast: Water with chocolate Stevia

Lunch: Raw spinach, 2 melba rounds, apple and then killer sandwich with the Hubby.The veggies inside were all raw but and the bread was whole wheat but way to much and out of protocol and the turkey most likely has a sugar added as it was from a deli cut. I do not get to eat dinner is what I have decided after the sandwich. . When you hit that major starve stage because it is hours past regular eating it just ends up not being a very good thing and I just need some food today who cared what it was by the time it hit 2:oo pm

147.8 Taxi Service anyone?

So I can never say what my last three days have been like as well as this lady can. Go have a laugh she is too funny in her lovely descriptive telling of our humanly likeness that we all get to face daily. As my Hubby puts it "whats so funny about all that, it's life" (he is a nurse it's normal to him to suffer strange body functions) ya well some of us don't want to acknowledge that we are less then perfect in all bodily functions.

Taxi Service available. I really would like to get paid for the job that I have been assigned this summer.

8:00 Summer school starts for C boy.

10:00 Driver Ed, hourly driving for J girl.

11:30 Summer lunch program kids beg to go to because they need to see friends living out in the boonies deprives them.

11:00 Driver Ed done, she has to hang at friends until I get back over the little mountain that splits our town from the town holding the school.

12:00 C boy is done with his summer school stuff.

Figure out how to get Kennels cleaned when we drive by on one of these many trips for J girl little job.

Can I hold out for two weeks of this that's as long as its supposed to last? Why couldn't we live in the town with the school instead of 15 min there and back. Oh Oh ya cause we live on a beautiful farm that's why.

Lunch: 500 cal tuna fish on a wasa cracker with mustard mixed in it and an apple.

Dinner: Halibut, with tomato and a wasa. Stevia covered frozenish strawberries with 2 tablespoons of milk on top.

I think maybe I will try for some miles tomorrow since somewhere over the weekend I fell of the goal for that.

147.8 Thats great!!!! Apples are rad.

Well it's been one of those kind of days that you spend forever in town doing the trillion errands that you have saved up because if your me I do not like going to town to much. Spending money that is meager makes me stressed so stay away from town is usually my weapon.

Garden is officially finished expect for sprinklers set up.

House is officially destroyed with summer unattended boys.

My clothing closet is turning into a store front with what will or will not fit nicely (so fun).

I am craving running which seems odd to me. The fat seems sucked out of spots that you just can't seem to get rid off by simple exercise alone. I do like HCG wish I had known that power during my pregnancy's. I am smooth in my tummy area more and more. My rib cage is smooth on the sides and I am almost to hit my 145 goal set area.

So question is it better to run in the morning or evening?

Is it better to eat a bit before or after you run tell me what you have heard.

Grateful for the warm air that is finally in our valley and seems to be staying for good now.

149.2 Wow I really didn't think I was going to come down that easy.

4 am phone alert from oldest in far away land, read letter, fall back to sleep. Wake up, moving makes me ache in the strangest spots and then I remember that I fell over a fence yesterday with my little guy on my shoulders. Even now I feel like laughing at myself. One of our horses decided to get really friendly last evening cause my apple smelt really good. She is not one that I trust to much and when she all of a sudden took way to much interest in me from my backside I hurried to get over our log fence. Well you can imagine with 21 pounds on the top of me the momentum just kept me going over landing on my backside with him sitting in the dirt, he stood up, dusted off, looked at me, yelled at the dumb horse and tried to get me up. Thank goodness none of the boys saw me go over they all would have been laughing at me.

So back to weight loss. I was pleasantly surprised that I came back to the spot of the 149 number with my huge mayhem meal the other day. It's been one of those days where busy busy busy is an understatement.

Two scouts doing the posting of the colors for the Memorial day presentation at the graveyard. Resist the yummiest of cookies. Home to referee, cook, clean, garden, manage wayward lawn mowers, garden some more, water fight breaks out, clean horse trailer, cook, dishes, laundry, hook up garden hoses, lawn hoses, vacuum, cook again, all to bed, me treadmill time, soak in a very hot bath. Whew made it through the day but I am sososososos tired.

Breakfast: Dark Chocolate stevia water, Apple

Lunch: Grilled Halibut on top of lettuce bed with grisinni sticks and some Walden Farms ranch.

Dinner: Turkey burger, (everyone had one mine sure looked tiny up against theirs) tomato sliced, Wasa bread and a half a grapefruit.

Miles: Just simply walking with all the chores today 1,061 steps. Treadmill time 4.5 miles making a total of 10,000 steps today.

150.0 DAY of Peace

Early to rise and exercise.

Kids breakfast ready to eat. It's Oat groats with yogurt cream sauce and a fried egg, ooh I want some really bad.

Ready for church

Off to church (late again ugha)

NO FISHY CRACKERS! I suck at this when on a diet.

My Breakfast: An Orange and Hazelnut stevia water.

Lunch: Lean steak soup and onions with melba rounds.

Dinner: Fish talopia with Bragg's sauce and tomatoes with crushed melba rounds. 5 Strawberries.

Not hungry all day not one tiny bit. (HCG must be burning lots of stored fat in me)

Miles: 5 walking on the treadmill at about 2.5 paces sometimes a 3.0 pace. Watched 2 shows that's a record for me. Thats 10,119 steps today yeah me.

I have been looking for a description as to how I feel in my body right now. This is the description I came up with. I am loose and light now. I feel airy as I move around. Why what makes the difference well carry a thirty pound bag of grain for a 4 mile walk attached in different areas of your body and when you put it down you can move so much easier then before that it makes you feel light and free. I have now shed 35 pounds from all over and it feels so free now inside of me.

149.9 WOW haven't seen this in a few years.

I did drink some dieters tea last night. Traveling makes me all stuck inside and so I wonder if the scale will stay down having really burned enough fat storage to be accurate.

I didn't get to sleep in, pretty girl had a car wash fundraiser and forgot about it and then forgot she had to do make up time at the high school to so I/she spent the day driving back and forth it seemed.

I was tricky and made a my little guy think that odawalla super food red rhapsody with apple juice was the bomb and put it in his sippy bottle, He drank and drank so he got beets, raspberries, strawberries, tomato puree, plum puree good stuff. I think I better look into juicing I see sometimes on infomercials but never pay much attention.

Lunch: Talopia, on bed of spinach with grissini sticks. Oh ya ate my apple for breakfast.

Dinner: Turkey burger on Rye Wasa, Tomato sliced. Yummy orange not really hungry all day but I sure am freezing again.

Miles: I didn't make it at all, I shouldn't have tried the sleep in over whelmed with boys today.

Why do bored boys have to fight? Everything was boring no matter what I suggested. The 3 younger's couldn't stop, mom got nasty after the ten hundredth name calling hitting episode. Believe me I would have loved to escape to a walk. Jer just went with me everywhere to escape the 3 grumpy boys.

Grateful for encouraging words today!

151.4 Not such a good idea Crab.

Ya I think the crab was to much. It said sugar (maltodextrine) on the can but measuring it out cooked is not the same as a raw measure and even if it was a small amount of sugar, though there wasn't an amount on the side telling how much, it's just not helping me to lose.

Lots and lots of thoughts today. I realize that I used to stuff myself in clothing that was to small for me in the name of I will lose or I am not going to buy something new, or I can take that in when I lose. I wonder how long that was going on in my head. I bet some 8 years now that I think about the last new clothing that I bought and what size it is 10, when really I should have had a 12 or 14 depending on how it was made to fit.

Lunch: Tolapia with wasa cracker and some asparagus, Half a grapefruit with stevia sprinkled on top.

Dinner: Had to go shopping so ate my Melba toasts, tomato, and orange in the car. Rushed home grabbed a packet of albacore tuna that's 3.5oz really fast mixed it with the last of my mustard and ate it with some more toasts. To many toasts today. Please don't punish me and go back up again body. Then rushed to a oh no mini food storage class, what have I done. just to not offend my sis-in-law a taste tiny bits and pray it isn't an even bigger punishment tomorrow.

Miles: Well they are in the toilet cause I steam cleaned toilets instead today. Usually it's the boys job to keep the 3 toilets up to par but I couldn't stand the sight anymore so I intervened.

I think as you go down in weight that you have to get more and more careful with what you eat because the body holds on harder since there is less in the locked fat storage areas and it isn't willing to release as easily as when you first start out on Dr. Simeon's protocol.

I am grateful for sunshine today.

151.

Apples, apples, APPLES and more ApPleS! I did it I got out of that stupid dang 152 stalling. When I did an apple day the last time on my first round I was never hungry and I only ate 5 of the allotted 6 apples that Dr. Simeons states can be used to make a stall breaker. This time I was hungry around 3pm and had to have an apple with me at all times. I even hurried to get the kids to go to bed so I didn't crash and burn the apple day. Why do we live in fear that something that has worked won't work the next time around? I really have got to use my faith on this lifestyle change I am making. My kids were shocked when they looked at the bag of apples I had only bought two days ago. It's always their back up snack and now it was almost gone Wow. But it WORKED and I only ate the 6 allowed!

My c-section area is starting to look flat I never thought that would happen. Anyone who opts for a c-section is nuts, natural birth is so dang much easier to recover from, anyway that's what I think having done it 6 times before the last nightmare birth.

Lunch: Turkey burger on wasa bun with the last of the Fennel bulb and grapefruit salad.

Dinner: Crab mixed with celery sauted on a wasa cracker, 5 strawberries with stevia

Miles: 2 around the valley it's finally WARM outside again.

Ok, I think I have been scared and that's partly why I couldn't get out of the 152's. Why? well My little Guy J is supposed to have this surgery that got cancelled because he was still on an antibiotic for a sinus infection. It's pretty simple just a sedated echo cardio gram, teeth cleaning of two little teeth that are disintegrating and that's easy. The big part, cosmetic closure of the trachea opening from where a tracheotomy was removed and left a hole like a belly button, but in your neck area after he was born. The scary part, they would be putting him back on a ventilator the thing that we couldn't get him off of the first time they had to do that to save his little lungs and then kept us in a NICU for 7 1/2 months. Me having to live 2 1/2 hours away from home and all my other children and hubby. On May 13th the day before the scheduled surgery I lost to 153 and didn't feel like it was honest. I have been a mess leading up to that day. Running like I could be crazy and cheating like the running would get me back to the right level and frustrated because I lost so much more on my first round by this time. The cheating wasn't huge just a nibble here of extra protein and some almonds ok lots of almonds and anytime my little guy wouldn't eat the tiny little peanut butter sandwich 1/4 amount I would eat it. All of a sudden today I am like back on top having gotten to a new scale spot and having not cheated once since Sat the day after the surgery should have taken place. Today I called to remake the surgery appointments and it was after that I realized I have been stalling in that area to for two days, well three if you count I could have called on the day it should have happened and started the whole process over. It was a Friday I kept telling myself they won't be in, ( let me tell you it is a process to get 3 Doc's on the same day at the same time frame) Anyway as I looked at the whole last month leading up to the 14th I had an awakening of my fear and this will no longer affect my weight at least I hope. Wheew that felt good to get that all off my chest I am not sure why.

152.6 Crazy but I want to feel the hungry feeling maybe it will say I am losing again!

That's it apple day is going to have to happen this is a stall at five days now and it has to be broken. I can't remember ever sitting at this weight in my life before.

It is also strange peoples reactions to gained and lost weight. After all the stress of my baby and the three years it took to recover or maybe I should call it a settling and easy spot to live with now. I have been able to see lots of reactions to my weight. First they would ask if I was pregnant. (Are you crazy I am going through the most stressful time of my life and I have a very unwell baby I am thinking to myself, plus my baby was still in the hospital 6 months later.)

Wow have you quit exercising? Now that the baby is home you should have all kinds of time.

( Like I have time, I spend all of my time pumping milk, feeding it to him, cleaning up his throw up and then repeating the whole process over again. Kick in breathing treatment times and putting back feeding tubes that came out with the throw up, and preparing for any upcoming Dr. visits and trying to eat myself, the school day ending for all the kids and trying to feed them too along with lets throw in a nurse visit and therapist visits at least once a week, NO there is no exercise time at all.)

Now shift to today down some 30 lbs in 4 months and they say things anywhere from WOW! to How skinny are you going to get to? Maybe you should let up on that running! You need some nutrition. You are looking really good! I didn't recognize you, you have lost so much. WHAT ARE YOU DOING GIRL???? The ultimate is the nurse who only knew me since my baby was born and asks what is so different about you other then you cut your hair. I see her every three months or so with my little guy. She is a nutritionist and into what is eaten by our little guy and what more I can get him to eat. She thought I looked great and for the most part others do to but it is crazy the range of emotions that are mixed when it comes to people and their weights.

Me, I just want to be able to sleep without an oxygen machine like the Dr. said I might need and to run a 5K and maybe a marathon and get back into the clothing that are in my closet and to keep up with my crazy busy houseful of boys and one pretty girl.

Not much to ask for is it.

Lunch: APPLES 6 to be exact and yummy water with chocolate stevia and HHCG to get the fat cells to release and burn up the rest. What a yummy meal that's going to be.

Photo shoot coming soon to the page.