ONE YEAR AGO I STARTED THIS HCG

This was about the only photo I could find of myself before using the HCG diet. It was the summer of 2009 before doing my HCG diet and getting my gut tight again. Notice my lovely fat face which is very thin now.

2011 right after the Bantam wrestling turnament one year after my HCG diet rounds.

Back in the blue suit that hides not a single ripple or roll of fat from the eye to see, these are much smoother ripples compared to the past year of before my HCG and 5K and 10K runs.

I can't believe it its been one whole year of incredible learning. More then just how to do Dr. Simeons protocol. I have learned what makes me gain what helps me lose, whats my limits in physical strength, how to push myself more or give myself a break. Learning to reward myself without food as the prize at the end. Now don't get me wrong here I still have to pay close attention to this, be consistently monitoring myself, I am not perfect here yet.

Let me just tell you it feels pretty dang good to sit at the Little boys Bantam wrestling in dang tight skinny jeans with a sparkly belt and feel like a million bucks compared to last year were I felt old, fat, ugly, had stupid fat pants that I hated and feeling like I was never going to be pretty again. And I did hide my face from all kinds of photos back then. I felt Like I was the mother of a bunch of boys and out for my league with all these young moms that brought their little guys to wrestle and they were all dolled up wearing super high heels and looking as young as my daughter. My thought was just get me out of here I am too old to be here looking like this. Yes I started my first HCG day on the Bantam wrestling day on year ago and we just finished the bantam wrestles over the weekend. All of my little boys ended up with first and second medals including Jer who was given a medal from the coach as a prize even though he didn't wrestle, he is a bit to little still to do the sport.

So today one before snap shot and one of my new me in my cute little skinny jeans along with the fact that I am 44 years old and HOT looking instead of the mother of 7 children. Thanks HCG and all the other blogs and Friends along the way with many an alternate path that taught me how to or not to get back the me that got buried over the last 12 years of my life. There were plenty of blogs that I read, many personal stories and struggles that helped my resolve. Close family that gave me reasons to keep on trying to reach my goal.

But the most important was my own resolve and WILLPOWER to gain the upper hand something that I will keep continuing on with everyday for the rest of my life from now on.

I better put a shout out to a girl who is working to loose, a fellow wrestler Mom. YOU CAN DO THIS and its so worth the change too. I think you know who you are.

Doing this diet taught me a few of these things belive me there are more but to many to list:

Portion control

Eating when I am really hungry not just because its there to eat.

Calorie combinations that are low.

How to drink enough water for my body.

Paying attention to what is in stuff, (like the hidden names of many sugars).

How to like warm hearbal tea to keep me warm, hated tea at the begining now its not so bad.

That corn chips are evil in many ways, two chips a calorie amount a must stay away from.

That there is a sweetness that is unbelivable in green leaves and celery if you havent eaten sugar for a long time.

What a healthy portion size is, which is about the size of your fist for proteins.

Most of all that I am always going to pay attention to the amounts that I eat when I eat and what it is that I eat so that I keep this skinny look around for a long long time!

Advice and Wow survived the week. 140 LBS today.

Click to see this one amazing blood pressure chart.


If you do the HCG way to lose make sure your committed to change forever. Well that's really how it is with anything that isn't part of your normal life style.

I do not agree with the statements that I often hear that go something like this.

"When I am done with my HCG rounds and I can eat whatever I want".

NO there will never be a day that you can eat whatever you want again!

Unless you don't want to keep the change that you just made doing the HCG round or whatever lifestyle change that you just quit following to go back to the past.

You will always, must always be aware and accountable for what goes into that mouth. You must always weigh whether its a good choice or a bad choice to make. Do you want that tiny second of sweet taste or the skinny jean look for a long time. Not paying attention can catch up on you so make sure your always watching your game plan and even reviewing the past plan that helped you to lose whatever plan that was.

Today I can wear my skinny jeans but I am 5 pounds up compared to Oct 2010. Even my fat percentage ratio BMI is up compared to October 2010 date measurement. Do I feel differently? Well not really, some days I can do a few more crunches and feel a bit tighter then the day before. There was this euphoric feeling that was around me when I first lost all the weight like that I was lighter and didn't take up as much space as in my past. Now my body has a more normal feeling like that its just how I am not more nor less just am. Some days I crave that light lose feeling that came as I lost but then I get reminded by someone usually the Hubby that I am so skinny compared to the past years of my life and I am still in a really good place.

So am I still wanting to be losing, well I have decided to do a reshaping round soon when all this crazy wrestling is over and I get to just stay home every evening and weekend. Is it my goal to lose more well only if my body wants to mostly I want a lower fat percentage reading because then that means my heart is really healthy and the body will follow that too.

Every day now I am working to tone and strengthen all my muscles, You know really they have to be toned daily to stay up to par and not get all saggy. The thing that is really good to learn before you ever start any kind of life style change is that you must be willing psychologically to really change all the eating around you along with willing to drag the family along also. What you the Mom create in the kitchen makes kids go into upheaval if you change the way you eat all of a sudden, instead of gradual small instigators over time. My boys like to have treat parties at our house that can just about kill me on the scale if I didn't keep up with lots of personal busy activity now that I have lost weight. You can't deprive kids of treats if that's what the comfort is to them so make sure your changes are small and gradual a plan that you can keep healthy around you always as you lose, strengthen, work out, or maintain what you have gained along this road of change that you make. Good advice for myself to take that's who this pep talk is really for anyway just glad if it helps you out their that might want a reminder along your path in life.

My Week last week:
Sick Hubby Mon, and Tue light at the end of tunnel on Wed.
Sick kids, all week just pick a turn take a turn. Sick Jer, means lots of steroid loaded breathing treatments and shaker machine to loosen that crap out of his lungs. I hate breathing that nasty stuff and its close to my face at times.
Mc broke submarine car real good trying to do the daily feeding animal chores ( saddest sobbing sounding boy ever, called me while finishing my bus riding job)
Had to buy new natural gas economical car, yippee it will only cost me 10.00$ to drive to far away Doctors now.
C boy broke his hand Tue, night. Xrays, all day at Doc's felt like, left one sick boy at Aunts house.
Made dash to see orthopedic hand doc to get special cast so C boy can still wrestle at State competitions. Had to drive 2.5 hours to get into Doc then the same miles back without the C boy who was now getting ready to do the tournament.
Friday, got Mc boy ready who went on winter scout camping called Klondike for first time, gotta make sure he wont freeze to death.
Left other recovering sick kids with Jo pretty girl, thank goodness she is a helper like no other.
Went to watch C boy take 4th in state in the 103 bracket as a freshman, the only one to reach that level that young too, with broken right hand AWESOME beyond belief ( he is not please because of course he wants the top spot but when you break your hand 3 days before its a bit handicapping).

Friday nice night alone with the Hubby, early Valentines Day, our own little party. Ate dinner at a Peruvian restaurant, tried an authentic drink, first carbonated drink in over a year and ate fried cream cheese wrapped in a shell that was kind of like a crepe or taco shell covered with carmel. So now I gotta get the muscles to burn that calorie load off like never before. Whew at least I survived last week. Before this dinner I stayed pretty close to a 500 cal diet except I ate larger protein portions, almonds, my mystery drink, and lots of good homegrown eggs that my boys take care of the Momma chickens. I even ate a few whole wheat sandwiches with peanut butter. I made me some dark chocolate crack and added nuts, dates, and berries to it to keep me accountable in the sweet category.

140.2 Body Image!!!!!

That's what you get when you mess with HHCG and eat out of the 500 cal. diet order but its ok I will be ok.

2 mile run this morning, yes finally a minute of time for me.

Lunch: Fish with a tomato and an orange and 4 melba rounds. Lemon twist stevia in 2 liters of water. And of course the 10 HHCG drops under my tongue.

Dinner: grilled chicken with curry powder on it. Celery sticks and a wasa cracker. One rather large apple of a sour crisp variety, kept me having pucker thrills in my mouth. 10drops of HHCG and some fizzy vitamin D to. I have been taking this for about a week and I can really tell a difference.

Body image? What do you think about it?

The Hubby and I had a talk as we drove home from the Doc yesterday and this came up. My budding teens made me feel ugly as a mud fence, know this I was always as skinny as a rail then, so it had nothing to do with being fat just not pretty in the face is what I mean. Some but not many boys paid attention to me during those years. Then as I turned 18 into my 20's I was hot, I think I started realizing this when many boys paid attention to me but I still didn't keep much of a belief that I looked very hot. I still had this image that only certain guys liked certain kinds of looks. My Hubby of course went crazy over me, I had moved to this new town and met him. All of a sudden many guys were asking me out, he got all crazy possessive and didn't think it was funny to have other guys ask me out. So he remedied the problem and made me his forever. Well then there is the syndrome that some women suck into; I have my guy so I do not need to try so hard right, well I never really participated in it but I do recall after every pregnancy trying to get back that youthful skinny and a certain glint from a passing guys eye that would say yes I had it back or no I did not have it yet. Of course the Hubby still loved me no matter what.

Now today I told him that I had dressed to look very hot but not because I wanted anyone else to take a look, only because I wanted him to look and I almost couldn't pull the look off because of my scared feeling about others out there in the world maybe looking. Now this has only become a problem because I have finally lost back to a nice sized pants and skinny look but I still hide behind his protections and the fact that I do not have to attract anyone else. Whew thank goodness I do not have to be back in the dating space I am not sure I would do so well. I really have a hard time with the attention that comes now and I realize that many girls in this world that cover themselves with a layer of fat to protect themselves from attention must feel kind of like me today. I am glad this is not always how I feel because it sure could be disabling if a person let it be in their life.

I talked about how I really would rather not have any attention from others, especially guys and yet a person really has no control over that.

The hubby said he liked that I was trying to be healthier and active again and it's nice that the body is in better shape, back to what attracted him in the first place. He desired that I should keep dressing hot even if others paid attention because it would help me to keep feeling like staying in the healthy mode and that's the most important thing to him. He thinks that many guys were always attracted to me back before his day, but there is the phenomena that happens with a guy and they say "she is too pretty I do not have any kind of chance even getting a date with her so why try." So they don't even try and the girl may be left wondering what was wrong with her just because of what messages she is telling her own brain. Well my Hubby didn't care about that phenomena he was older and he knew what he wanted so he went for it. Besides we got set up on a blind date, I think that helps take away the messages that we tell ourselves that might be limiting when we first glance at a person and consider the potential asking out thought.

His goal is that we both get healthier and stay that way, besides we still have lots of kids that need to be raised. The most important to him is the healthy, looking good is a side benefit to boot. My benefit is he is loyal and keeps his manly attractions to others in check because bottom line our personal body image is all a part of what attracts or does not attract us to others.

So in conclusion I guess I just get to keep ignoring looks or statements and focus on being healthy because it is so very important.

Some links to lots of others comments on body image. Just click the linker number and read it.

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