132.8 Christmas Shopping.

Sitting there just on the edge and its been a long day.

Of course its the last Saturday before the Christmas holiday arrives. The last day the Hubby could spend planing out and taking out the kids to buy their chosen present for their drawn out of a hat name.

Lunch: Cucumbers with pre-grilled Chicken, half my apple since the Little guy decided he needed to eat some of it for me today and no crackers.

We made a day of it and by evening they all wanted food so of course the vote was pizza. I only ate one slice and I have walked miles and miles today, I am sure because my feet hurt all over in many ways. Hopefully its enough to not derail the progress I made so far. There was no convincing them that they should go get me something else so I made due with what faced me.

Those kids are so proud of the amount they earned with their pop cans and of course they picked their presents very very wisely because they want them to last a very long time. That was hard work, the presents better last just as long as their work took.

133.0 Game Plan.

The scale number went down but I know after today it will go back up no matter how careful I am. I am ready for it with two bats swinging.

Here is my pre-game plan mapped out.

A two and a half mile swift walk with some neighbor girls, can't let them down.

Then two mile run nice and steady back at the house on my treadmill.

Keep moving all day.

Small lowest cal Lunch: Cucumber with salt, fish, and one wasa cracker. Oh I forgot my fruit again.

Then

Dinner: A dangerous work party meal for the Hubby's surgery staff.

I will and did only eat the lettuce salad with a tiny tiny bit of dressing. I ate a lot of the green salad when the need to eat more came upon me because of all the other goodies that were there.

Someone brought jumbo shrimp. I eyed the amount and ate 3 that had to be close to my 100 gram allotment while using HCG.

I went over the 100 grams by eating a tiny bit of prime rib not to much but more then I might should have done.

4 Ritz crackers with a tiny bit of cheese spread.

A warm cup of hot coco, I am freezing today.

4 Dark Chocolate's from Italy and lots and lots of water.

The last meal that did me in (football awards dinner for C boy) during this crazy holiday I didn't have such good choices to be able to pick from. The meat was in gravey sauce so there was no way to pick it out and there were hardly a green salad to pick from it was all jello or potatoes, or lovely whipped cream pudding choices. I sure hope this game plan goes well because I am really learning how to care for the body these days and I want to not have to take another week to get back to the 134 site on the scales.

137.2 Can I say metabolism looking good now days!!

I sure hope that this lower instead of higher means that my metabolism is getting its gears back in order again and starting to keep a slow burn instead of always turning off like in my past. The white bread last night didn't get me. The cupcake white with sugar frosting also didn't get me so I am feeling happy but better be careful and wise still. I do not want to mess with the cheats to much yet. I need to get at least one more week in before I add all the danger foods in to the diet.

2.30 mile this morning at a great 4.5 pace feeling stronger and stronger as I work this body out.

What is it about cold weather and comfort food. My kids begged me to please make chili homemade the kind that corn bread slathered with butter goes nice with. I had hope that I would and could resist but alas I could not forgo that comfort food. It was dang cold outside and the body was feeling the need to spread that thin layer of fat that comes from carbs like beans and corn that helps to keep a body warm. At least that's how my C boy explained the workings of nutritious foods like beans, corn,that are mostly starchy turning into sugar once the body breaks it down. I had drank warm water today because of the freezing feeling that was going on under my skins. My kids must be crazy because that's chili two days in a row.

136.6 I am having a chocolate attack.

I am not sure what my problem is today but I WANT CHOCOLATE bad. Like I am in need of the extra protein or something. I ate Nutella and it is hazelnuts and chocolate but a no no in the sugar department. I have got to get out of the house before I eat the whole very large container that I can usually resist. So close to 135. but no dice, urrrgha frustrating. Fasting didn't even seem to make a big drop for me. My body systems are in control and they say when I will or will not drop lower. Only today and tomorrow left and then 2 days more to reach an elusive point closer to 120. Such a mind mess that we have to get through to lose the weight that we want to be free from.

Breakfast: Orange spice herbal tea with Stevia

Cheats: Spoonfuls of Nutella uggha

Lunch:Fish, butter crunch lettuce and strawberries again, with a few melba rounds.

Dinner:Chicken wasa cracker, apple and cucumber.

I did not drink enough water in the morning I felt dehydrated by the end of the day and chugged 3 big glasses.

Cheating

Having very little discipline today.

Crappy eating

Bottom line I am moving to maintenance soon and I have been successful in getting my body back into shape after many years, think positive instead of negative fat talk because I can now run and feel smaller in many healthy ways. A site that was good for me to run into and practice doing instead of beating myself up about cheating today.

Demise

Soccer party Auugah this has to have been the worst day. I obviously need to be ended. There was cream cheese with salsa, chips, donuts, pumpkin cake, brownies, candy, cookies, and popcorn with Carmel ok you know where I am going. The candy, donuts and brownies did not even appeal to me but the cream cheese and pumpkin cake stuff just jumped off the table and flew into that mouth even when I was clamping it shut. I undid all my hard work and it wasn't even because I was hungry. I am a mess today. So to you all, even when you finally are getting down there you must continue to be vigilant and know that there are just days when it comes out of no where and attacks your willpower and you eat it. Just get back up and start over again. I will look at the scale in the morning and go forward because I know I can do this I just have to work harder at it. I am craving omelets and veggies with healthy proteins so that's a good sign I could care less about candy you can tell by my choice of failings.

Maybe when you hitting the end of what you need to lose your round should be shorter so you can handle the day when resolve slaps you in the face.

To a new day tomorrow I will be ok after I cry on the scales.

GOAL GOAL GOAL made 144.6 TODAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

5:30 AM I awoke to the dang worst gaging feeling ever. The top of my throat hurt like someone was burning it with dry ice. I drank a tiny bit and gaged and gaged. This is going to be a rough day and I had so planed to go 3 miles running. Instead I went back to bed and ignored my throat. I was awakened again at 10 am, good grief what is wrong with the Mom? The J girl was giving all the little boys breakfast in bed. We did go to bed late after the long drive so no one was very up early at all. She knew something was wrong and was being nice to me. The boys were all surprised by her caring way. She would have made me breakfast but she had no idea what I could or could not eat. NOTHING TODAY is how I felt. I made myself drink some tea. Oh punky that's me today. What a week.

I must admit I allowed myself to try on a new dress yesterday only one. One that I can make tighter as I lose more off my waist also it was the only medium, there were no smalls so necessity to altar played in. I tried two tops on and the boys picked the one they liked the best. Both were smalls. They like the business looking style so when I do my photo shoot you will get to see the cuteness of it.

Two more days of staying low cal and then I can start the maintenance menus. (Except I am cheating and already adding tiny bits here and there now.)

Lunch: Turkey burger, lettuce salad, sauted onions, sunflower seeds, 6 olives, Waldon family dressing. Apple. You can see that I added veg's together and one extra of the olives and seeds I just need more, I feel weird without the HCG making my fat stores release fat food for me to burn.

Dinner:Beef burger wrapped in a lettuce wrap. I ate a LARABAR tonight Apple cinnamon so that's my apple count for the day. Wasa crackers all gone. I was not really very hungry and it hurts to swallow any way.

Pouring rain killed my walk and I am going to bed really early cause I just feel yucky and don't like what the treadmill looks like.

152.8 Again??????

Well I most likely deserve that hold and hope it isn't going to get worse. All the boys went camping leaving me and the pretty girl to watch girly movies last night. She popped popcorn and added butter to it. After awhile she was mad that I wasn't eating it with her. So I caved and I hope that it isn't to rough on the days ahead.

It was a way busy day I barely got my meals in correctly.

Lunch: Yummy green salad with oranges broken up and a bit of a sugar free Walden salad dressing that I am going to see if the lose will still keep working. I have friends who are trying it so it made me curious to try. I ate bites of my pretty girls chicken that was breaded so I passed up those when I got home and just went for the salad.

Dinner Fajita stake and asparagus with fresh strawberries on a Wasa bread piece.

Miles 4 slow and steady and also a walk down our old train track path. I need to measure it to see its length before I can count its tally to the other miles.

155.8 Train Wrecked?????????

So I am doing this holding as can be seen from the Aunt Flo and a bit of an increase nothing like the last go round though. I eat my lunch of fish orange and cucumber salad with melba rounds broken on top and then go teach my little kids class. Yes some of those stupid fishy crackers did jump up to my mouth again. Over all though I feel like I am doing pretty well.

Then I am KIDNAPPED and pampered with dinner for MOTHERS DAY! And of course it's the worst place for HCG dieter to go to. THE CHINESE BUFFET. I was sorta careful, big salad mostly shrimp but it is always covered with sugar sauces or breading. Even the chicken has sauce on it. I also can not resist the California rolls or rice paper wraps. I did notice that I filled up really fast compared to before my HCG days. And I drank tons and tons of water. I ate only one egg roll and they were mini kind. I have never had that huge of a cheat day when doing the HCG. I hope that my metabolism is revved up now as compared to what its been like in the past before finding the HCG. (Thank you sweet hubby for making me not have to cook this year even if it kills the diet in the train wreck!:)

I was so full I couldn't even get into gear to go for a walk.

I hope tomorrow isn't a killer on me. I wore a shirt that I haven't been able to for five years that was nice. I think it was even more lose today then when I would try to wear it back those many days ago.

Here's to starting over tomorrow and being better at getting this last bit off.

February 28, 2010 174.2 Wii 173.6 New scales

Its going down by tiny ounces. Where is the pound drop everyone talks about. I still didn't cheat today, wanted to but I didn't. I must tell my brain that I want to be 120 over and over again.

That was this mornings recording.

Stupid fishy crackers. They just jumped into my mouth as I handed them to all my little kids and couldn't resist. Oh why do we do this to ourselves when we really want the loss of weight. I called my HCG partner. She laughed at me and told me it will be ok that maybe I should carry my toast with me when I teach these little kids classes. I talked myself into believing that they were like my bread sticks except I am sure there is more calories then the toast and grissines. The problem is I have no idea how many per the calories of a small pile makes if I said that right. I do not buy them cause I thought I hated them at least they are not my choice in crackers when buying in the past.

Lunch Oregano Chicken and Strawberry Cucumber salad with melba toast. Dinner Spinach orange salad with white fish rolled in crumbs and curry powder covering. It was really good with sweet and salty taste to it.