Monday, October 11, 2010

136.6 I am having a chocolate attack.

I am not sure what my problem is today but I WANT CHOCOLATE bad. Like I am in need of the extra protein or something. I ate Nutella and it is hazelnuts and chocolate but a no no in the sugar department. I have got to get out of the house before I eat the whole very large container that I can usually resist. So close to 135. but no dice, urrrgha frustrating. Fasting didn't even seem to make a big drop for me. My body systems are in control and they say when I will or will not drop lower. Only today and tomorrow left and then 2 days more to reach an elusive point closer to 120. Such a mind mess that we have to get through to lose the weight that we want to be free from.

Breakfast: Orange spice herbal tea with Stevia
Cheats: Spoonfuls of Nutella uggha
Lunch:Fish, butter crunch lettuce and strawberries again, with a few melba rounds.
Dinner:Chicken wasa cracker, apple and cucumber.
I did not drink enough water in the morning I felt dehydrated by the end of the day and chugged 3 big glasses.

Having very little discipline today.
Crappy eating
Bottom line I am moving to maintenance soon and I have been successful in getting my body back into shape after many years, think positive instead of negative fat talk because I can now run and feel smaller in many healthy ways. A site that was good for me to run into and practice doing instead of beating myself up about cheating today.
Soccer party Auugah this has to have been the worst day. I obviously need to be ended. There was cream cheese with salsa, chips, donuts, pumpkin cake, brownies, candy, cookies, and popcorn with Carmel ok you know where I am going. The candy, donuts and brownies did not even appeal to me but the cream cheese and pumpkin cake stuff just jumped off the table and flew into that mouth even when I was clamping it shut. I undid all my hard work and it wasn't even because I was hungry. I am a mess today. So to you all, even when you finally are getting down there you must continue to be vigilant and know that there are just days when it comes out of no where and attacks your willpower and you eat it. Just get back up and start over again. I will look at the scale in the morning and go forward because I know I can do this I just have to work harder at it. I am craving omelets and veggies with healthy proteins so that's a good sign I could care less about candy you can tell by my choice of failings.
Maybe when you hitting the end of what you need to lose your round should be shorter so you can handle the day when resolve slaps you in the face.
To a new day tomorrow I will be ok after I cry on the scales.

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