Wednesday, December 1, 2010
140.2 Body Image!!!!!
That's what you get when you mess with HHCG and eat out of the 500 cal. diet order but its ok I will be ok.
2 mile run this morning, yes finally a minute of time for me.
Lunch: Fish with a tomato and an orange and 4 melba rounds. Lemon twist stevia in 2 liters of water. And of course the 10 HHCG drops under my tongue.
Dinner: grilled chicken with curry powder on it. Celery sticks and a wasa cracker. One rather large apple of a sour crisp variety, kept me having pucker thrills in my mouth. 10drops of HHCG and some fizzy vitamin D to. I have been taking this for about a week and I can really tell a difference.
Body image? What do you think about it?
The Hubby and I had a talk as we drove home from the Doc yesterday and this came up. My budding teens made me feel ugly as a mud fence, know this I was always as skinny as a rail then, so it had nothing to do with being fat just not pretty in the face is what I mean. Some but not many boys paid attention to me during those years. Then as I turned 18 into my 20's I was hot, I think I started realizing this when many boys paid attention to me but I still didn't keep much of a belief that I looked very hot. I still had this image that only certain guys liked certain kinds of looks. My Hubby of course went crazy over me, I had moved to this new town and met him. All of a sudden many guys were asking me out, he got all crazy possessive and didn't think it was funny to have other guys ask me out. So he remedied the problem and made me his forever. Well then there is the syndrome that some women suck into; I have my guy so I do not need to try so hard right, well I never really participated in it but I do recall after every pregnancy trying to get back that youthful skinny and a certain glint from a passing guys eye that would say yes I had it back or no I did not have it yet. Of course the Hubby still loved me no matter what.
Now today I told him that I had dressed to look very hot but not because I wanted anyone else to take a look, only because I wanted him to look and I almost couldn't pull the look off because of my scared feeling about others out there in the world maybe looking. Now this has only become a problem because I have finally lost back to a nice sized pants and skinny look but I still hide behind his protections and the fact that I do not have to attract anyone else. Whew thank goodness I do not have to be back in the dating space I am not sure I would do so well. I really have a hard time with the attention that comes now and I realize that many girls in this world that cover themselves with a layer of fat to protect themselves from attention must feel kind of like me today. I am glad this is not always how I feel because it sure could be disabling if a person let it be in their life.
I talked about how I really would rather not have any attention from others, especially guys and yet a person really has no control over that.
The hubby said he liked that I was trying to be healthier and active again and it's nice that the body is in better shape, back to what attracted him in the first place. He desired that I should keep dressing hot even if others paid attention because it would help me to keep feeling like staying in the healthy mode and that's the most important thing to him. He thinks that many guys were always attracted to me back before his day, but there is the phenomena that happens with a guy and they say "she is too pretty I do not have any kind of chance even getting a date with her so why try." So they don't even try and the girl may be left wondering what was wrong with her just because of what messages she is telling her own brain. Well my Hubby didn't care about that phenomena he was older and he knew what he wanted so he went for it. Besides we got set up on a blind date, I think that helps take away the messages that we tell ourselves that might be limiting when we first glance at a person and consider the potential asking out thought.
His goal is that we both get healthier and stay that way, besides we still have lots of kids that need to be raised. The most important to him is the healthy, looking good is a side benefit to boot. My benefit is he is loyal and keeps his manly attractions to others in check because bottom line our personal body image is all a part of what attracts or does not attract us to others.
So in conclusion I guess I just get to keep ignoring looks or statements and focus on being healthy because it is so very important.
Some links to lots of others comments on body image. Just click the linker number and read it.