I reserve the right to not put the scale reading on today.

I really do not want to blog today but I am driven by a goal to keep a record so that I am accountable to this weight loss goal that I have made. I am going to talk about the fact that I fit in all those skinny jeans that have been stored in my closet. Now not skinny in the skinny popular statement just skinny to me size 8 and I can now do the buttons up without sucking to hard on my gut.

I remember the day after my first boy, who is faraway, was born and I tried to put my old jeans on that I wore pre-pregnancy. No one told me that I would need to wait a bit to fit in. My Mom was not there to help me pack the bag and help my brain realize those things. I just thought that I would pop back to a pre-pregnancy shape and fit. Let me tell you how shocked I was to not fit. Hey I had gotten that big ball in the belly area on the outside now what gives. I then had to shove them back into my suitcase and put my big fat clothing back on. I even had to wear those dang things for a few weeks after till I could go get new clothing or pants I should say. Standing in the dressing room was not so happy a moment as I got pair after pair slowly moving up in size way past what I had ever worn before. I wore a size 5 or 6 back pre-pregnancy. I finally wrapped the brain around the fact that it was not going to ever happen for that old size. Even today as I feel grouchy at the scale and have no desire to post the weight I can fit into my size 8 and feel great because they are way smaller then last years size 14 jeans but the size sure likes to play with your brain.

I must focus on the fact that my thighs do not touch together anymore rubbing when I run or walk. My hips are very slim and there is no fat pad on the back side that makes me look like I need to cut a small hunk off. The arms are very defined not as nice and defined as mizfitonline.com but getting there. My muscles ache in lots of ways but it's the kind that makes me say yeah I am getting back in shape and feeling pretty great. So ya let me focus on that today instead of the scales. Oh yea doing a steak day and eating only an apple.

I am so much more in shape then what the scale had to say this morning.

Did stretching, my hip needed it after that dang long run Sat.

139.2 Finally a new number.

Sorry I missed a few days in there that I can't get back it ended up being way busy and way stressful kind of weekend. At least I kept up with the diet well sorta. On Sunday night pretty girl made Jalapeno poppers and talked me into eating them, the first batch about burned our mouths and insides out. The next batch was amazing and I of course gained 2 ounces. So with being extremely strict yesterday I have finally gotten past the 140000000s to stay past this time. Yee ha.

Sunday read on scale was 139.8

Monday read was 140.2

Sticking to the diet very tightly since I am nearing the end of 40 days. My bottle of HHCG is almost gone and I want to be farther down the scale then this reading for today.

One thing I have noticed is that the fat pad that sits between you shoulder blades up high on your neck line is gone on my back. There are not to many ways to work that area off and its amazing how my body has moved the fat cells out and it is no longer firm and rounded there. I can actually feel some boniness in that area like it used to be when I was a teenager eons ago. Wow I am amazed at the spots that are shrinking on me right now.

148.0 Never give up even when there is no loss.

Look at this Never Give Up!

I have been inspired yet again and it just goes to show that there is always something to get you going if you will let it in your heart. Truly amazing and inspiring.

Breakfast lemon Chamomile tea with the other half of the grapefruit.

The dentist gets to see all the kids today but two. C boy doing football gets off and there is nothing we can do to get the faraway boy here to see the dentist. Pretty girl J is not thrilled her mouth is tiny and it hurts her she says. The boys think the prizes are so cool. Me I don't want to drive to town again and we have to go again tomorrow three days in a week is very tiring.

Lunch: Tilapia fish with tiny onions in a soup broth maybe some celery too.

Dinner: Grilled beef hamburger, tomatoes slices and melba rounds on top. I forgot my fruit allotment.

The boys tonight didn't even have to be told to get all the soccer gear put in the main bag it was siting there ready to go. C boy shock washed his own football pads. Mc helped K boy do his spelling words and K was willing no foot dragging. Pretty girl got a ride home from Tech practise all by herself without me telling her to try before going at 9pm to get her. Do I sense a maturing in the air maybe a growing up a bit. It was the most peaceful night at our house that there has ever been on a school evening.

I made a job application to the school district send me good vibes I need a better closer job then ungrateful managers who want to fire you over there most likely own illegal drug paraphernalia that they accused me of stealing.

I think I will have to try this when I get done losing my 25 pounds.

154.0 top load weight for my last round.

So that was not to much of an increase even though I drank cream after dinner with sugar mixed in it.

Today is going to be a bit different for the first day of P2 protocol for me. In my church on the first Sunday of the month we fast and give to those who have less the monies we would have spent on food. Also when we have really important causes or needs we concentrate on the fast in a way that the Lord will know we are in great need and if it is his will then there will come a result in his time and if we do our faith filled part to help the result the need will happen to be helped. So that's today and I am fasting that my brother be able to find a job too and of course its my first protocol day so I am going to be missing the first two meals for the day which means I will only have one meal today of 500 cals. The scale should be interesting tomorrow can't wait to see if I drop all the loading plus the extra gains from last week pizza soccer meal.

Never had a hungry moment today either. Saying good bye to extra fat cells that are not needed anybody want them?

2.6 lbs done again. INCES INCHES GOING away.

So I made it through yesterday I got hungry and what the heck is up with my forever needing to peee ( ok it is just the fat cells shrinking and releasing and they gotta let thier water go somewhere.) I only have 2.8lbs to be back to the lowest weight that I was on round 1. It is buggy and I now know there is no way I am ever doing a three day load even if I have to take all the goods with me camping. I will make sure I am prepared to start when needed. This of course comes after having learned all that I have during my first round.

READ DR> SIMEONS PROTOCOL SEE THE LINK RIGHT UNDER MY FAT PHOTO.

It does seem to take a lot of concentration to get through the first round and lots of cooking which now it's a piece of cake to me, but that's where hands on gives you the advantage over the first learning parts.

I am thinking about all the crap that is getting reset and out of my system. Shots for making me stop going into labor, then shots to make my babies lungs develop faster, high blood pressure meds out the wasu. Antibiotics to combat C-section and infections later. I used to just nurse my babies for two years and then melt that fat down. Last time I was hooked to a stupid milking machine and could only last one year at it. My last baby never did nurse from me. Then how about an appendicitis and whatever other meds I got at that time and more antibiotics. Good grief how does a body handle all that? Well my gut instinct says it makes it into the fat stores and stays. I still have to sorta breath those stupid steroids whenever I give my little guy a heavy dose breathing treatment ( and yes it drives me crazy that this is what keeps his lungs open when he gets a stupid cough).

Lunch: Grilled Shrimp and tomatoes with Stevia the last of my Grissini sticks 2 and an Orange.