Diabetes, Obiesity, lack of growth hormons and hypothulmus

You know that part where you read in Dr. Simeon's protocol about reorganizing the hypothalamus? At the time that I read this I had just started giving my little guy shots to trip his growth within his brain because the hormone was lacking.

Endocrinologists are so cool.

Lets add the fact that why I had gained during the last few years was in part because Little Guy had lived in a hospital for 7 months with me camping in a trailer in the parking lot away from my other 6 children and the hubby, two hours away to be exact. He had to be born 3 months early.
Lets add that I almost died, my hormones were screwed up, my kidneys had tried to shut down, the liver was whacked, so delivery was necessary and then me eating and eating, not what I would have cooked and ya trying to salve the stress somehow through the chocolates and sweets that release endorphins sending it to the brain to help calm the turmoil going on.

Then lets add Dr. statements like well if Jer lives he will go to school with a trach and a vent for the rest of his life, But there are no nurses who are willing to come relieve you ( we live very rurally located) so that you can sleep through the night as he needs 24 hours watch to keep the trachea from clogging. Uh if you don't sleep its hard to lose weight and usually you gain.

Well you get the craziness that would come from that kind of life. STRESSSSSSSSSS!

Talk about a Mom really feeling like she was up against a wall.

Then lets add the looming factor that diabetes is huge I mean huge in my household. We already have another member who is a  maintainer and not on shots but someday it could happen. What about my other kids, will the way I feed them make them be even more susceptible to the genetic factors that are in their systems?

A diet of corn syrup, or high sugar containing food with no fibers and veggies the kind that school lunches are seemingly turning to more and more or the fast food that kids take as a that's how we eat now attitude. Celery what the heck is that? Just give me a biggy sized burger without the tomatoes or the lettuce out and make sure there is ketchup loaded with corn syrup too.

My kids think I am mean because we rarely buy pop only for camping. The veggies drawer is full all the time now. And I say if your hungry eat an apple or an egg that's boiled. Eating out is only if we are not at home or near home because we did not plan well and often times I pack lunches to go when we are not going to be near home.

Now you know why I want to keep the weight off and the foods healthy at all times along with the activity levels really high, its a matter of helping  me feel good and staying in shape now.
Why study nutrition and the hows whys and whens are so important to me, cause I always have to figure out how to get the little guy to eat a veggie without knowing that he actually ate asparagus in disguised or strawberries blended in a smoothie that's secretive.

I question everything and make sure to test out all things with scepticism and want to know why and how it works on a cause affect level not just because you or the Doctor's says so.
Well the good news is the Jer little guy is finally hitting the chart, barley but he is making it. And me I am still maintaining a healthy set weight. Right  at 140 lb still would love to maybe go down but it just does not seem to work that way for me. Besides when you stick in all the small jeans in your closet you gotta be happy and that's me. I hope your all having  am amazing summer my garden is getting  yummy green.

Sugar Toxic? you decide.

I often talk about my Little Guy who will eat anything that has sugar in it with the form of candy and for sure chocolate but will not touch a fresh peach or a beet or even a casserole. One of his many issues is oral aversions and texture issues that we work with daily. Let me tell you there are bribes, and conditions, and kids that are not allowed to say they do not like something here at this house all in the name of getting Jer to eat. Thats why there is an ad up there about hating veggies. We can get him to drink veggies in that amazing shake called Shakeology these days.

I also talk about the fact that when he was in the NICU just before sticking an IV or shot or sometimes even just when he was upset they gave him a taste of glucose on his tongue. Back there are two red spots that can send you to links about this practice.

Why?  Well it was supposed to act in the exact same way as Morphine would, making it so that the procedure was not has hard to handle and not create an addiction to a drug like Morphine. Today thanks to an update from the Lighter Side of Low Carb via my facebook I got a very interesting update that is lengthy but really an eye opener to how affected we can get from sugar. Maybe you should take a look and draw your own conclusions to this article.
Is Sugar Toxic click to read or watch the video its all very enlightening.

After this I get even more bugged about the amount of corn syrup and maltodextrose (ie. the one that comes from corn) in his pedisure yep gotta get him to eat real food even more now. 

What BPD does to Jer, oxygen and weight hand in hand.

This is a vest that shakes Jer softly with vibration to make the fluids and "boogers" as he calls them, come up from the bottom of his chest. It blows up with air and then oscillates at different rates to help the body break up whats in your chest if you have low lung capacity to expel it up out

In order to get him to sit for the 20 minuets we bribe with whatever we can think up. Books usually can get us through for the most part but today you can see there is a sucker and the kids did things like bring him trucks to play with. I usually have to hold on to him to get him to sit still long enough and now that he is bigger he tries to unclasp and get out. When he is really sick and overwhelmed with the coughs or lack of being able to cough it up out he will just lay still mostly out of exhaustion because if you can't get enough oxygen in your body then your not going to get very far. If you look close you can see that the vest is more puffed up with the vibrating air that is doing the shake the yuck loose in his little chest.
Last week he had to have the oxygen on during the day now that he is older he usually only has to sleep with oxygen on at night. When he was 1 and a half years of age we were able to take the constant oxygen off during the day, so to have to be tethered again did not make him happy this week. He willingly let me do a shaker treatment so he could get the halter off his face for the rest of the day. This was the smile he gave me when I said we could take it off if he did a shaker treatment. That's about the happiest I had seen that face all week.

My silly little boy sleeping soundly at night, he insisted on wearing his hat all while he slept. When he is outside he has to have that hat and his little green gloves. Thank goodness he didn't have to sleep with the gloves too that night. I am pretty sure he would love to get rid of his nightly halter but oh well not going to happen for awhile yet.

You know oxygen is something you just can not live without. It is amazing all that it does for your body. Here are a few links that enlighten the need for oxygen. The statement that is about oxygen in this first link is rather closer to the end of the video clip but there are so many good things to learn before you get there that please take the time to hear all of the comments that Dr. Oz makes here.

Because of my success of losing my extra weight as of right now I beat the odds of needing oxygen but if you after losing weight didn't stop falling asleep in the middle of the day and slowed your snoring down pay heed to this guys way of fixing things in his life from lack of oxygen here and then maybe just maybe you should get a sleep study test to see whats going on with your breathing system.

There are many factors that we face when we have a kid with issues. What might I face for Jer's possible future when it comes to eating good foods and not succeeding to get him to some days and why I who wants to lose weight , and am always careful of what I eat, yet I turn around and put cream of all things in a bottle with my very cool mystery drink to bump the non eater child's calorie consumption up. Cream can you believe that, straight cream, ugh of course it has to be doctored cause he loves his pedisure the best and that hides the thick non sweet taste of cream. Now don't get me wrong cream has great fats in it to help a little brain grow its just that I wish he would consume enough of the other good fats that a body needs when your growing to keep a little healthy chub going on there somewhere. Enough chub that is so it would help him grow some great lung tissues, making it so he would never have to have oxygen assistance. Well at least for right now in the oxygen area he is back to breathing at a good rate and keeping saturated at least for today and we knocked that nasty cold out of here.

Read the complications of BPD in older children here.

Ughs the sicks WHY!

I have been lifting some weights and owwwie my arms hurt. The Hubby just laughs at me. Well to tell the truth the whole household is a bunch of moaning groaning these days. The Pretty girl has been doing weight lifting in health class. The C boy is wrestling his guts out and the Mom like I said I have been working my muscles. I can feel the burn that is now consuming and I can tell that my metabolism is much higher inferno ration then what the past was like. All I can say is that it feels good to be this in shape. Now if only I could get rid of the c-section sag of my last baby brought on. It also is of no help that there are 6 others that swelled that area to maximum capacity over my past.

As our week progressed the C boy spent 3 days in bed sick and then the rest of the house slowly fell in a slow motion domino affect taking turns feeling sick. By yesterday me and the Hubby spent the day in bed with the sicks. It was really not fun. The households meals consist of that amazing stuff called Vitamin C. We will recover but it has affected with a few negative side affects.

C boy was only able to place 4th in region but will still go to State Wrestling Competitions next weekend. He has really had the fire snuffed out of him by getting sick and by the last round he had no energy left to defeat a kid who really knew what his moves would entail. But the team placed third so that made everyone at least happy.

The dishes are crawling out of the sink and the Jer boy is left with a nasty cough that has us digging for the big gun medicines and our shaker machine that helps him to move the yuck out of the bottom of his lungs.

Thank goodness it hasn't lasted very long for me because I really have no time to be sick I have got to get back to running on the road without making it to the bathroom and back only.

Please Help this cutie out!

Please I have not many followers but even the few I do could help with just a tiny little bit. Those who link from my family site you can help too. The amazing thing is it's really truly coming so close to true and that's just to too to cool.

This girl says it so well even with her very colorfulness, but hey it's truthful, so read her plea and see what we can all do if we but work together to help others just a tiny little bit.

My kids you see this year that's what they did is give to her a bit of their Christmas money just so that she could get her a doggy. They understand that if she chokes and her Mommy is not alerted that her lungs can have major damage. They are sensitive to this because of there own little brother Jer's lung issues. They do not like the idea that she could silently cry without anyone knowing but a doggy could make all the difference and alert her parents to her needs. They have three of their own dogs and can not imagine her having to to be without one either, not when it could mean her very life could be saved by its ability to alert someone of her needs.

So please lets get this doggy with your help

Her Mommy is amazing and tells wonderful things about Chickadees story, she is my friend, read the stories here.

See her cute little face here, like her so you can see when she gets her doggy.

Give here so she can get her doggy its a secure site I promise.

If that isn't to your liking well there are other ways to get it too her I promise I can help you just email me please.

We are so close lets get that doggy soon for her!

134.2 C boy in repair from wrestling ouch.

Monday evening I took C boy to see the most cool lady. She works with fears that are manifest in our body. You see C boy is really going to be ok once he believes it and stops holding himself so tightly. He broke his ribs last year and has really been afraid to go all out in his technique on the mat. Everyone can see that the fire is not all there like it has been all of his life when it comes to giving it all out on the mat.

So now that C's shoulder has gotten hurt on the same side as the broken healed ribs he is not so ready to be ok even though nothing is torn or broke.

Fear can be so immobilizing, it can be stored so strongly in the body that some can never get past it and some bury the fear going forward but not living the completeness that they could have had.

Well this cool lady does a combination of EFT and Body Talk. When Jer was in the hospital she would do work for him and let me tell you when she called and told me things that were coming up she was always so right on. After my Pretty girl had an appendicitis she helped the fear to drain out of her and even opened the channels to be heard and have a voice. ( that one is tough now that she is a teen and is more outspoken). My faraway boy would always say how the heck does she always know what I am worrying over and I never even said anything to you about it.

Well this is the first time C boy has even had a need and this time helped him get past his rib and shoulder pain and fear along with helping him to resolve the intestinal plug up that seems to keep happening to him. He was so amazed that she knew that his intestine's struggle to transfer water around resulting in the problem that he seems to face.

He said the whole next day his whole body kept tingling when people came near him and he wrestled pretty much with no fear at practise. The shoulder is a tiny bit tight but quickly resolving the tightness. Thank goodness because he has a big charity pink wrestle that the schools are doing for Breast Cancer tonight.

The end result HE WON a pin in 30 seconds flat even with pink shoelaces on his black clad feet!

Here are a few links about pink awareness and other athletes that are bringing awareness.

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4.

Me sticking tight to my 500 cal limits even though the Aunt came visiting and leaving me feeling like a soggy wet noodle with no strength to get up and do anything.

Lunch:Grapefruit, Chicken, Wasa cracker, and celery sticks they tasted so so sweet.

Dinner: Tomato salsa with some onions and cayenne pepper with the fish over the top and a few wasa crackers too.

138.2 Water Water wAtEr so neccesary.

Water Drink it because its so good for you!

Read This to see why it helps in Weight loss.

Read This to see the need.

I have a hard time getting my Little Guy Jer to drink water but I am tricky and put Stevia in the water and then he will get at least a 6 oz amount most days. When he left the NICU we had many inhalers that we had to use to keep his lungs open and not wheezing. He has very damaged lung tissue areas and all we could do was wait until new tissue grew. This takes at least 8 Years to do and in some of the areas that are damaged it will never come back to normal, there is just a great big cyst that takes up the space. The thing that always bugged me about his inhalers was the fact that there is a lot of salt in the mix, not to mention the steroids, He is diagnosed with Asthma or it is better known to him as Severe Cystic BPD, Bronchopulmonary Dysplasia, This is a medical defination.

He had a wheeze and then I read THIS mans book and started to work on getting him to consume water so that I could see if the wheeze diminished.

Guess what if he has been a really good water consumer then we usually never have a problem with a wheeze or an attack but when I stop being persistent then I can hear the little squeak as he drops into heavy sleep in the middle of the night and I have an instant pang of regret and get back on top of tricking him with a 6 oz amount of Stevia flavored water.

Yep Water its pretty darn important for our bodies.

Me Drinking lots of water today.

Working out with Denises Austins lovely ABs DVD. I just can't not do something in the workout area even while on HHCG. I do take it really easy and be very slow and soft to my body when using HHCG because I do not want to pull and muscles or make myself tired.

Lunch: chicken and cabbage soup with melba rounds and an orange.

Dinner:hamburger with wasa crakers and a tomato with an apple.

140.0 Celebration for Jer!

It's been a rough day of driving to Dr's and and racing back to see wrestling matches. But the very best news of all, Jer the little guy does not have to see the Cardiologist for two whole years. One less Dr. visit on the 6 month agenda that I have to keep track of for him. I am absolutely thrilled I can hardly believe that this is finally happening for us this year. This Dr. was one that has followed him from the NICU and she too was thrilled to see him finally growing past the Pulmonary Hypertension that was brought on by the lung tissue damage from being a tiny little itty bitty preemie guy.

Of course the whole driving trip put a wrench in the diet plan of mine this time. I was not very prepared I forgot my lunch food except the apple because I had eaten that rather early for breakfast. Two hours of driving and convenience store foods with the Hubby who had gotten a pizza and I ate the dang crust which was super thick. Then a pumpkin cookie that Jer wanted to share. A chocolate Zinger that Jer decided he didn't want the bottom of. I felt trapped in a food car and no exercise to have burned off pre-calorie cheating.

Lunch came at dinner time after sitting in the Dr. office for thee hours doing EKG's and Echo Cardiograms on the little Guy, yes we had to ubber bribe him with a diesel if he would hold still for all these tests. He just kept saying I want to be done and go home now, but he did hold still for them, as still as a 4 year old will hold. I ate a apple pecan Wendy's salad and yep I am pretty sure it was well over 500 cal amount.

Racing back to see the C boy "WIN" his first freshman match on the Varsity Wrestling team. 12 to 8 he was so bugged he had the kid pined almost three times and then he wiggled out. 102.6 was the weight before their tiny practise for the day then his weigh in was 101.2. Ohh to have a metabolism that worked that fast again would so be a dream.

139.6 A bit higher on the scale after all that.

I think that the lovely Aunt visitor coming is why the scale is a bit higher and why I was more hungry then usual yesterday. Also I have no energy today so it was one of those sitting around not feeling that great kinda of days. Tomorrow will be better I am sure.

Pro-biotics are really good for breaking down fiber very important to the gut so I think I will make sure I take some and get the Little guy to take a bit more in his pedisure. He told me that he ate a pumpkin pie at school. I wonder if that means the crust or the filling or the whipped topping. I guess I will have to test that out on him on the up coming holiday meal plan.

And yep C boys scale reading was back to 103.6 after his kitchen tasting splurge. He is going to have to be mighty careful all season long. Good thing he is the energizer bunny.

138.4 Tried another steak day today.

I had a rest day today resting from all exercises. Instead I did house work and the dreaded bills. I made the mistake of asking the Hubby if he thought I was looking like I had tighter legs like in the past. Smart Man he would only say the he loved me no matter what and that I would never be 21 again.

Little guy ate lots again today. Of course I made the peanut butter sandwich with carmel chips so that he would eat it no matter what. He ate it all but the crust. Along with an oatmeal bar from my sisters house. I wonder if he tried new things at school today. Again used the hungry med, I think I will have to keep this up for a little bit until we get him into realizing the messages that he is hungry.

Oh ya I ate an apple and had my steak and lots and lots of water today and I am drinking tea before I go to bed. The teenagers at my house are having a get along battle and I sure hope they get it figured out soon so we can have peace again.

140.0 GOT THE JOB wow.

So what was I worried about I know I am good with kids. I am the permanent aide for 3 handicapped children and also a sub bus driver once I do all the training and get my CDL. They kept me with both positions not just the aide. I hate to say it but a lot of the bus drivers are getting older and so they need younger and fresh to keep the buses moving. Maybe eating almonds isn't so bad after all especially if you cheat with a hot dog. Well other then THAT IS A LOT OF FIBER hello bathroom shall I say. This morning my insides where churning and I am glad when the whole body system settled down.

By this evening let me just say I am sooo glad that this was the last day for soccer until Mc plays his tournaments since his team is in top place. We started the long mess with a little girl didn't tell us that she had to get off at her Grandmas so we had to turn the bus around at the end of the route and take her back. I was late to pick all my boys up, we didn't get to eat dinner before leaving, we missed half of the first game for K boy. Thank Goodness Z wasn't late. Then a half hour wait and the Mc boy started his game. The Hubby went with us tonight we got pizza tons of it I was so hungry by 9:30pm I ate it who cares I wasn't ever going to get home to eat my protocol foods. We still had to swing over and watch the last of the C boy play an amazing game of football in the position that he loves where they finally stuck him tonight. Pretty girl moaned she really hates pizza but ate like me out of desperation.
Jer well he ate pizza and half an apple with the skin on. WOW now that is some progress in the eating department for him. It was even pizza that has sauce and pepperonis with cheese and the bread that's 4 types of sensations and textures add the apple and that's a total of 6 with the skin left on. I think school is getting him back into the swing of its ok to eat again. He does head start so that the peer pressure outside of our home will help him to be ok about eating. I know crazy thing to think of using a school setting for but when you have his issues as a parent you will try every angle necessary at your availability.

143.0 No stall doing what its supposed to do.

Yep I am doing great even with a smoky air around us. Can't remember what I ate it was way to busy a day of cleaning cabins and catching up on bills then racing to the soccer field.

K boy gets to go with his Dad tonight and sleepover for the 3rd grade major field trip of their school year life. They see a tall tale Annie Bangs come to life and really tap on the window of the lodge that they are getting ready to fall asleep in. Fear and suspense sets in to their little minds for the night. But its totally thrilling to them.

We at home get to breath the smoke for the night of a giant camp fire that seems to want to consume our whole mountain range around us and has burned for two months now. Its getting closer and closer uggha. Jer is actually handling it well but I have had to increase the oxygen a tiny bit as he sleeps and he is asking for a breathing treatment every morning and night now.

Jer tried to eat all day long that's a switch maybe we are finally getting some kind of a growth spurt coming on. Yippee.

149.4 Every other day posts.

Its been one of those post every other days kind of weeks lately. At least it isn't taking a computer to get on the scale and keep track of my weight. But that's how posting is so its not been so easy to just get sat down and do a post. I have munched on the best cucumber salad with sour cream and peas and little green onions today. Along with ice cream and chili again the scale, I am afraid its going to be showing how heavy that is on the scales. Along with the hormonal stuff that the visit brings.

My sweet sis-in-law gave us cookies and boy are they dangerous to me right now.

Oh ya we grilled on Sunday for our last warm hurrah before the cool starts to creep up in the evening.

Little Guy went to preschool today. He was so happy because there was no one here to keep him busy. He kept asking all the boys if they would play dump truck outside with him over the whole weekend and he didn't care that it was dark either.

Z boy missed the bus because his socks were not right so I had to take him over, that cut right into my walking time and I never got back to do that. Tomorrow right, right.

148.6 Green salad and being happy.

So today was one of those day's where the kids ate the cracked wheat cereal for breakfast without a single complaint because after a year I have now changed them into real breakfast eaters instead of cold bag cereal eaters. There was fruit to go on top and they all loved it.

The little guy who still won't eat much that appears mushy has now tried some dried fruit in the shape of a licorice made by Cliff Hangers and he liked it. It was not blueberries and he did yell about it not being for a second but then went ahead and tasted it while eating most of it. The cherries were tart in it but it was fruit in a real form not a corn syrup mix with coloring. That is a huge plus.

I am craving Chocolate, what the heck it must be nearing and rearing it's visiting head soon.

Two days left to starting school Yahweh I am really glad as they are very bored in this house.

Very little exercises has happened except for rapid walking and bending making beds. I sure hope that counts for something.

148.4 ABS video with the Crystal Ball.

I actually got this ball to help the Jer boy get stronger core muscles from not being allowed to use them. They made him hold still for so many months and also when you have BPD there are many more complications that can add up. We have to always watch for this complication. His right lung has a huge cyst partly from TPN that got dumped into his lung on day three of his life along with all the premature complications and vent and pneumonia and and and. I better end.
I like the video it helps now if I can just keep the ball as my own and not have the boys play with it. I keep it hidden most of the time so it will stay inflated. My abs are feeling the lifting and it's nice to have cushion from the hardwood floor.
2 miles with the hubby on a evening walk.

147.4 Nasogastric Tube Feeding

This shows the pic trauma about to be discussed.
What is it like to have to shove a tiny tube down a itty bitty nose and feel when it hits the end of the nasal cavity and turn to make its descent? All the while you are holding the flailing hands and watching the fear in the eyes. Desperation setting in on both parties to get it out or get it in whatever it's going to take. Then what about when you have to pull it because no matter what you do it's plugged with medicine, usually at two in the morning feeding hour to top it all off. You have cranberry juiced it and water pushed it and that was even warm water and it's just not going to give. What about having to place a stethoscope on the tiny tummy and fearing that you will not hear tummy sounds when you pull back on the syringe that is at the outside end of the tube, but maybe a lung sound, thank goodness that never happed to me. Shall we say FRUSTRATION daily more than once a day sometimes.

Then there is the puking that happens. Because the natural response is to reject foreign matter and it's so a foreign. I finally couldn't take it, we had taught him how to eat, he smeared it all over his face, it got into his mouth, and I could spoon some into his mouth but the tube would often cause havoc because he has texture issues and now days since the trach revision surgery we realize that scar tissue was causing some tightness that caused major smallness for the food to go down with a tube taking all the extra space. Need I say then causing major puking. Jer had been home about 6 months we were doing the daily above described struggle with every meal almost. He was a year old and as round as a baby could be when he puked yet again and I left it OUT. Eating became a bit easier or maybe a little less stressful minus the addition of shoving an NG tube back into his tiny nose after every feeding just because he puked it at some point during the feeding. Even the pretty girl knew how to get it in but the boys including the Nurse Dad refused to help put it in, they would only help hold the flailing hands.

This shows all the different ones they had used on him through the year, yes we had to use every one of them but the Gtube along with all the psychology and the reasons as to why feeding must be done this way. They did want us to have a Gtube but we said no give us time to teach and him to learn.

Kids go through spurts of great eating and then the I don't like that phase when they used to eat it every single meal. I hope that as he gets older he goes back to that normalized smeared all over his face baby eating that we taught him and he gets willing to eat more then just all white foods and dry crusty food. He seriously has oral and sight aversion to KY jelly or anything slimy like it, but I must say thank goodness he will eat something these days. Little does he know how many veggies and slimy fruit is blended and hidden in his pedisure at night these days.

Eating is a continual chore trying to see what he wants to eat for the day telling the youngest of my two boys that they can't have when he can have whatever it is now matter how unhealthy it looks simply because any calorie is better than no calorie at all. And the volume of get hungry medicine or reflux medicine or laxative medicine bugs the heck out of me but it's our normal at least for him.

147.4 STRESSERS

One of the major things that can stress me is the paper work that my little guys case demands. I found myself on the phone twice calling back to make an appointment after having left a message and they didn't call back to get him in. Mind you this is for a follow up to see big grow Dr. in Jan 2011, like I have time to call back again and again after leaving messages. That was yesterday. Then today I have to do review paperwork for his disability case or they will be canceling us. Of course it didn't come in the mail until Fri. and it's due back on July 5th when all mail is undeliverable and I have a question and no one was in the office Friday through Monday. Good grief. Top that off with having to sit on the phone for 35 min to be told that it was of course the wrong department and be transferred to the supposedly correct office for another 35 min. Which then the phone hung up when the person was getting ready to answer. RRRRRRGH.

I caught myself eating cereal. WHAT.! I do not even like it because for some reason it cuts my mouth up and leaves the driest taste inside it and most of all it's bad for you. I haven't gotten the stuff for over a year and the Dad was saying please get some so when we have to leave so early we have fast food for breakfast. The biggest problem is that's not how the kids eat it. They chow like nobodies business and the great big bags of bulk Malto meal is gone like in a day or faster depending on who is home to consume. So between my mindless stress eating and their sugar fast seeking it just cannot come in my house again. Besides 4-H Peewee was a nightmare tonight because they were all so hungry from quick non filling carb meals that had no protein carryover, they whined that they wanted off the horses after hauling 30 min to the arena. Satisfying pancakes with doubled up eggs and some sausage will just have to be the mainstay at this house.

Miles:running 2 walked 1.5
Breakfast: Dumb cereal for everyone else. I had a nice cream cheese and blueberries.
Lunch: Dumb cereal no one wanted real food I ate salmon steak.
Dinner: They of course went right for the cereal and I talked some into eating venison. I also made a nice spinach havartti cheese egg fritatda.

146.6 Aren't you glad you can self sooth.

Maintenance going well, just need to have my body realize

that this is where the thermostat needs to stick.

It has to become a metabolic habit for it, if that makes any sense.

Little guys soothing technique.

Journey Beyond Survival: BOO

Jer has a binky and we try and try to get rid of it, but you see it's all we could put in his little mouth for 7 months before he was allowed to eat. Now I have days I would like to be rid of it especially when he loses it for the night and cries and cries that he needs it so much. It gives him a soothing factor now and back then when the needles poked and the tubing came undone or the noise was unbearable he sucked it. It was the one thing that he knew they would always give him when Mommies arms or Nana's or Daddies or Papa arms were not there to hold him, he could suck that thing so hard it pushed away his little fears. It kept his mind occupied on doing something else besides hurting or fearing that he would not get enough air. I guess I can keep waiting to be rid of that soothing little item if it means he is a happier baby.

First Photo as a newborn in NICU with his little tiny purple hospital binky.

5 Months old with Tracheostomy still living in the NICU.
9 months old and finally in our own home. Feeding tubes sat monitor lines and oxygen tubing very much our friends everyday but no Tracheostomy.
Our many binky trials until we found just the right one that he liked again after the trach was removed.
Picture taken just last week when I tried to take the binky so I could get a photo with the cute clean teeth. Not happening as you can see it is going back in the mouth to do it's soothing job at 4 years old.
Please go vote by clicking the link on my right top side called Rett syndrome do it for this little baby who's only means of escape sometimes can be her little binky. At least you are able to push the button and make a difference for her when she can not do that for herself. Go read how she relives her stress in a traped body.

146.0 RUNNING on a TRACK

Wow!!! I take new high school freshman to his first football camp at 6:00 AM and decide to take advantage of the nice paved track. Shall I say smoooooth, no tripping or weed poking or rut jumping. That was a nice FLAT run. I didn't realize how much cross training I was doing until after this flat smooth run today. I never really even got breathless, most likely because there were no sneaky little inclines to attack me. But I must admit I was tired from the rest of the day forward and I think I will blame the heat. We had to rescue a car and take to a repair shop, eat dinner out at a fun log restaurant and finish hay fields and of course go watch some more fireworks. I was able to even sneak a nap in there while the boys did hay.

Miles: 4 jogging 1 walking

Breakfast: half an 8oz cream cheese cube mixed with quinoa and bluberries sweetened with stevia.

Lunch: bison burger with the full bun and coleslaw. I sorta forgot that maybe the bread wasn't a safe thing for me to just lunch on down. One of those habitual eating moments shall we say.

Dinner: Unethical, baby bell cheeses, rice crackers and a chili chocolate bar. And it was almost midnight. I thought we were going to get to barbecue and it didn't work out that way so we had to eat munchies after the fireworks. Thank goodness we had a bottle for the little guy who had also eaten all of his fries and chicken fingers at lunch time. Made him mad though because I kept him drinking another bottle of vanilla pedisure with hidden blended blueberries and spinach and a carbohydrate powder mix from This found at the health food store. I am just trying to get some good carbs mixed with this heavy proteins drink.

Maintenance is going great sure hope I don't need a steak day tomarrow even though one sounds really yummy right now.

148.0 Racing Day it's going to be crazy tonight.

Usually we celebrate the 4th on by going to our town park and having fun with food food and more food, booths, water dunking and arm wrestling. But this year we have hay that has to be done before we can play so we all stayed home and worked until the Rodeo in the evening. Our pretty girl J usually rides the barrels in the exhibition runs and she did it again taking 3rd place, hopefully I can repost and add pic in a few days. The evening meal is usually crazy so this year I decided to stop at Taco bell and get a whole bunch of burritos and tacos, This was the best idea yet compared to standing in lines with kids pulling at me and then dropping stuff in the rodeo dust. Except little guy decided to get hungry just before all the lights went out and time to watch fireworks. He left his bottle in the car uggha what a time to discover that.
I caved and ate a taco and then one more this Aunt sure makes you hungry but it could be that I run this morning and just needed more to have enough energy for the day.
Miles: Jogging cause I was really slow today 3.45 and .75 walking making a total length of 4 .2 miles I love my mapping tools I can tell to the .2 how far I went.
Breakfast: a beef patty with tomatoes
Lunch: left over chicken in the cream sauce and a big salad.
Dinner: two taco bells even if I end up paying a pound or two of gained weight.
How do you celebrate your freedoms?